Overcompensating the girl within.

[Kerri]

Hi ya Hayley,

I think we TV's think too much. We attach too much importance to things about our lives and try to compartmentalize everything we do.

There are many women who do masculine things and a similar amount of real men who do traditionally feminine things. Their gender status is not affected by these activities.

I recommend you forget trying to place yourself in or out of any particular activity based on your gender perception.

I am a Male TV/TS . There are aspects to my emotional personality which are definitely feminine. But there are an equal number of masculine features too.

You cannot look at an activity and say for definite its M or F. We humans are too diverse for that.

For the record.
- I did 21 years active military service. I operated heavy machinery in order to prepare and repair combat aircraft which I enjoyed immensely.
- I enjoy all forms of music including Hard Rock, Reggae and Classical.
- I enjoy painting in Watercolours, Acrylics and Oils.
- I like Science Fiction movies.
- I like drinking whisky and wine.
- I like walking in a wild wood.
- I enjoy reading a book about peoples lives.
- I used to row as Stroke in an "Eight".
- I like white water canoeing.
- I enjoy shopping for pretty lingerie and dresses, as long as its for me.


- I have no sense of rythym, and cannot play any instrument.
- I have five thumbs on each hand and cannot sew for peanuts.
- I dont like Love Story movies.
- I dont like Cooking, Cleaning or doing anything domestic.
- I dont like babies
- I dont like football or rugby.
- I dont like pubs nor the company of men.

But none of the above matters in my opinion. Its what I am and I am still TV/TS.

hugs

Kerri

- I hate Mills & Boon.

[Elizabeth]

Haley,

I have been reading this thread for the last few days. I was hoping to learn something about my own handling of my personality, and how it reflects. For me, the biggest thing I did to overcompensate my male personality was to dress like a male everyday.

I have never really fit in with "the boys" and have never been one to drink a beer after work with the boys. I am not a motorhead, in fact I hate working on cars, and have only done so in the past because I could not afford a mechanic. I play guitar, but most of the bands I played in had female vocalists and we did songs mostly from female artists.

I have always been very domestic. For instance, on Thanksgiving, I always cook the Turkey, stuffing, macaroni salad, cranberry desert, yams. I have been called a zealot about keeping the house clean. I have always been the "medicine man" and take care of all injuries. Does it need a "kiss", a "bandaid", or "a trip to the hospital". I do the dishes, I do the laundry, I do the shopping. I never really considered these to be female characteristics. I thought of it more of breaking a stereotype.

I like action/war movies, and admit my favorite movies are war movies, but I also like movies like "Hope Floats", or "An officer and a Gentleman" and Movies like "Topgun" that seems to incorporate both.

Having said all that, I have wondered in the past if I projected myself in a manly way so others would not suspect I was really feeling like a girl on the inside. Many times I have sat in meetings where millions of dollars were trading hands, in girls underwear, thinking "if only they knew?". While strongly negotiating for my company with a firm manly voice and a firm handshake. I mean, I for sure was not being true to myself at these times. I certainly did not feel that inside. I felt like a fraud. I am glad those days are behind me. I hope that I never have to return to the days of pretending to be this strong male figure, just to be employed, but you never know? I may have to return to the work force not as myself.

I guess in the end, having all these characteristics both male and female is not a bad thing. In fact it may indeed be a good thing. However if you are projecting them, while not really feeling them, I think that will hurt your self esteem, based on my own personal experience.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Curly(SO)]

I agree with Kerry. I think we can get bogged down into what is or isn't 'male/female' activities. We are all human... men and women have far more similarities than differences. (Me and Ed did exchange a few heated words once, over who was going to hang some voile... Ed stated that was 'Womens Department' He HAD just decorated the whole house single-handed, but voile hanging was not coming naturally to me!)

Mills & Boon... Would ANYONE admit to reading that stuff!

Love,
Curly(SO)

[Virginia]

Big applause for all my sisters!!!!
Yes Hayley it is not conflict but the gift of not only crossdressing but to have such varied interests. I will not reiterate what my sisters have said beyond the fact that in reading all this we all just got probably $1000.00's of "couch time for free!!!!!! What we do with it however will tell in the final analysis.
Love ya all!!!!
Virginia

[KristenS]

MariasGirl, I defiantely agree with you about the overcompensation that some girls get into. I myself, while TG, have settled for a "soft androgyny" which suits both me and my partner. Meranda, you're a "rail-nerd"? Can I take that to mean railfan or train-spotter? Don't be afraid you're in good company

[Candice]

Hmm...I can definitely relate, as i play guitar, bass, piano and alot of other instruments, and i also rhyme and have a hiphop group...

It's almost like i'm two different people, i don't normally think about the same things i would, its more euphoric in femme mode for me, and i percieve things differently, and i am generally more happy.

[Merinda]

First, Merinda- What is a rail-nerd? a fan of things relating to trains? .

Sorry to take so long to respond , I lost this topic in the vastness of our forum.

MariasGirl,

CORRECT! , " rail-fan" is probably a more appropriate title .

Marda ,

I enjoy doing what I do , the hobby is made fun of by mainstream society but I dont care , if anyone wants to poke fun at me I will tell them that crossdressing is my other hobby and I'm sure they will find that information more useful to throw crap at me.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Can't you all spot Merinda in there, off to the right?... she's wearing purple.



Love,
CJ

[Merinda]

CJ ,

This is where its at

http://www.steamrail.com.au/Elecrail/DSC00465.jpg

[Alexandra]

here's a rail-fan for you miranda!





I'm a minor rail fan too and I guess she and I are one of the few people on this board that know what the heck this thing is!

[Merinda]

There is actually a crossdresser that regulary tours aboard that particular dogbox set consisting of late 1800s and early 1900s cars.
(OTHER THAN ME ) , I dont dressup for rail tours.

The person who is mentally handicapped sometimes wears a blonde wig , womens long coate , leggins and I think I've seen him in a skirt.
This person certainly does not pass , but strangly nobody else on the train takes any notice.
Perhaps acceptance is here at last=D>

[Hope]

ok, not that MW brought this up....

Over the years, I have conducted a study (albiet non-scientific and not all-emcompassing) and have found that a vast majority of CD'ers in my age group (no way I'm telling you!) are very to extremely interested in rail roads and model railroads. In questioning over 100 individuals, only two said they had no interest in model trains.

hmmmm.....wonder what psychology analysis would suggest here?