Hmmm, take the pill, or not take the pill.
I guess it would definitely make things less complicated. But then, I have to think how? I like the feminine qualities I have. If they are taken from me, would I still be "me"?
I think not. I am very pleased with myself. I know who I am and I accept every portion of that. (This has taken quite a while) If I could wipe it all away with one little pill...then it would probably take another 30 years to find myself again. Those around me might not like that...nor would I.
I vote no.
Hugs to all,
Kyra
If You Could Change?
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Kyra
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Love (SO)
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Melissa,
I read this question and felt that it may be helpful to also have a GG's point of view on this too, I hope that nobody minds if I give my views on this question, (being a wife of a CDer) I'm not speaking for all wives, this is just how I feel about it...
I'm not sure if you know so this, so....My hubby and I have been married for 13 yrs., together for a total of 17 yrs., and he told me of his CDing just a couple of months ago. I'm still trying to deal with all my emotions that I've been feeling but each day it gets better for me. I love my hubby unconditionaly.
If there was a pill that my hubby could take to make him not want to CD again, I would NOT want him to take it......the reason is because he wouldn't be his true self. I wouldn't want him to take a pill to make him into something that he wasn't. I have always wanted to have a closeness with my hubby and I have never felt it from him, until now (since he has told me of his CDing) We are closer now than we have ever been in the 17 yrs. we've been together, that part feels great, and that is what is helping me through this. We have a real bond with each other now.
I think maybe that it has to to with my growing up too....when I was a young girl, my father was in an accident, he suffered brain damage from it and had to be on many different medications that would regulate his "mood swings" that he now was having. It was like I had a different father, he was never able to be his true self (the father I always knew ) it was the all the drugs he had to take and the brain damage (even more so) that changed him. The father I once had was now gone, I now had a Father that was like a zombie ( in a way). I felt so sad that my father had to now spend the rest of his life this way. My father has since passed (mother also) and I miss them both terribley.
It just happened to be the opposite way for my hubby and I, I now know that , I never really did know who he truely was, he hid alot more from me than just his dressing, he also hid his most of his emotions, it feels like I'm getting to know him all over again. I would never want him to change or alter who he was for me.
Another thing for me would be...What would it do to his body over time? I wouldn't want him to take anything that would put him at risk of anything. Not worth it.
That's just how I feel....
Love
I read this question and felt that it may be helpful to also have a GG's point of view on this too, I hope that nobody minds if I give my views on this question, (being a wife of a CDer) I'm not speaking for all wives, this is just how I feel about it...
I'm not sure if you know so this, so....My hubby and I have been married for 13 yrs., together for a total of 17 yrs., and he told me of his CDing just a couple of months ago. I'm still trying to deal with all my emotions that I've been feeling but each day it gets better for me. I love my hubby unconditionaly.
If there was a pill that my hubby could take to make him not want to CD again, I would NOT want him to take it......the reason is because he wouldn't be his true self. I wouldn't want him to take a pill to make him into something that he wasn't. I have always wanted to have a closeness with my hubby and I have never felt it from him, until now (since he has told me of his CDing) We are closer now than we have ever been in the 17 yrs. we've been together, that part feels great, and that is what is helping me through this. We have a real bond with each other now.
I think maybe that it has to to with my growing up too....when I was a young girl, my father was in an accident, he suffered brain damage from it and had to be on many different medications that would regulate his "mood swings" that he now was having. It was like I had a different father, he was never able to be his true self (the father I always knew ) it was the all the drugs he had to take and the brain damage (even more so) that changed him. The father I once had was now gone, I now had a Father that was like a zombie ( in a way). I felt so sad that my father had to now spend the rest of his life this way. My father has since passed (mother also) and I miss them both terribley.
It just happened to be the opposite way for my hubby and I, I now know that , I never really did know who he truely was, he hid alot more from me than just his dressing, he also hid his most of his emotions, it feels like I'm getting to know him all over again. I would never want him to change or alter who he was for me.
Another thing for me would be...What would it do to his body over time? I wouldn't want him to take anything that would put him at risk of anything. Not worth it.
That's just how I feel....
Love
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CJ
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Hi all,
Ridge,
You're Ridge. Nothing more, nothing less. Just as I'm me and Kyra is Kyra. I can't tell you what you are (nor would I even want to venture a semi-educated guess) but, as was said elsewhere, what we are isn't half as important as who we are.
Kyra,
I agree. As Richard Bach (author of Illusions) once wrote, "it took me a lifetime to become who I am... was it worth it?" Well, I, for one, think it was worth it and the idea of losing that by taking a pill would scare me. But I don't think that's what I'd lose by taking the pill; rather, I'd lose my inability to function properly whenever crossdressing activities are completely absent from my life. Now, if, by taking the pill, I forfeit my feminine soul, then, of course, I'd throw the damned thing all the way to Mars if I could!
Love,
CJ
Ridge,
You're Ridge. Nothing more, nothing less. Just as I'm me and Kyra is Kyra. I can't tell you what you are (nor would I even want to venture a semi-educated guess) but, as was said elsewhere, what we are isn't half as important as who we are.
Kyra,
I agree. As Richard Bach (author of Illusions) once wrote, "it took me a lifetime to become who I am... was it worth it?" Well, I, for one, think it was worth it and the idea of losing that by taking a pill would scare me. But I don't think that's what I'd lose by taking the pill; rather, I'd lose my inability to function properly whenever crossdressing activities are completely absent from my life. Now, if, by taking the pill, I forfeit my feminine soul, then, of course, I'd throw the damned thing all the way to Mars if I could!
Love,
CJ
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CJ
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Anita
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I wouldn't take the pill, at 53. Whether I would have wanted to take it at a younger age when I was dealing wth relationships is a question I don't have to answer anymore.
Ridge, it is an unusual situation you find yourself in, and you're your own role model. I only wish you peace of mind, however you find that.
CJ, your post brings up the point that concerned me at the beginning of my adult CDing--the compulsive part of it. It bothered me greatly to realize that there was ANY aspect of my life that was ruling me like that.
CDing may be harmless, in and of itself, but there are darker compulsions. CDing made me much more sympathetic to those whose compulsions DO hurt others. It was my wake-up call to stop being so judgmental!
Part of my initial compulsion was the fear that "someone" would take this wonderful femme self away from me! So it was like I was dressing as much as possible to keep her here. It had taken so long to "discover" her--49 years--and I had to keep bringing her around where I could see her!
It was probably remembering my mother scolding me for dressing up at 3--who knows? I just know that even though I was openly telling friends and family about "Anita," there was part of me that felt like "she" would be
banned, somehow. It took months to get over this feeling, but when I knew that Anita was here to stay, my own compulsion diminished. I still have a need to dress and go out, but that isn't the same feeling.
But I don't forget that compulsion, and its power. Whew!
Anita
Ridge, it is an unusual situation you find yourself in, and you're your own role model. I only wish you peace of mind, however you find that.
CJ, your post brings up the point that concerned me at the beginning of my adult CDing--the compulsive part of it. It bothered me greatly to realize that there was ANY aspect of my life that was ruling me like that.
CDing may be harmless, in and of itself, but there are darker compulsions. CDing made me much more sympathetic to those whose compulsions DO hurt others. It was my wake-up call to stop being so judgmental!
Part of my initial compulsion was the fear that "someone" would take this wonderful femme self away from me! So it was like I was dressing as much as possible to keep her here. It had taken so long to "discover" her--49 years--and I had to keep bringing her around where I could see her!
It was probably remembering my mother scolding me for dressing up at 3--who knows? I just know that even though I was openly telling friends and family about "Anita," there was part of me that felt like "she" would be
banned, somehow. It took months to get over this feeling, but when I knew that Anita was here to stay, my own compulsion diminished. I still have a need to dress and go out, but that isn't the same feeling.
But I don't forget that compulsion, and its power. Whew!
Anita
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The PILL?
Hi to all,
I have just finished reading your posts on the magic pill. The thought poses interesting questions. I am a widower who lost his supportive wife three years ago. I told her about the CD part of my life about a month after we were married. It almost ended the marriage but she later told me she stayed with it because she married me as I am and that was part of me. She supported my dressing all of my marriage. During this time, would I have taken the pill? Only just before I got up the nerve to tell her. Once she knew, never. 
Now, I find myself in the market once again for a companion. In my mind, the dressing is a very big roadblock towards finding anyone. Could I be lucky twice? I have serious doubts.
Now, would I want to take that magic pill? As badly as I would like to have an SO back in my life, I would have to say no. I love the feminine side of me. 
I like being as I am right now in a skirt, sweater, and totally comfortable. Maybe I will be lucky and find someone- maybe I won't. Still, no pill unless it's the one which gives me the hips and the soft skin, nice lilting voice, and a thirty year old body would be nice, too! Ah, dreams are wonderful! 
I have just finished reading your posts on the magic pill. The thought poses interesting questions. I am a widower who lost his supportive wife three years ago. I told her about the CD part of my life about a month after we were married. It almost ended the marriage but she later told me she stayed with it because she married me as I am and that was part of me.
She supported my dressing all of my marriage. During this time, would I have taken the pill? Only just before I got up the nerve to tell her. Once she knew, never. Now, I find myself in the market once again for a companion. In my mind, the dressing is a very big roadblock towards finding anyone. Could I be lucky twice? I have serious doubts.
Now, would I want to take that magic pill? As badly as I would like to have an SO back in my life, I would have to say no. I love the feminine side of me. I like being as I am right now in a skirt, sweater, and totally comfortable. Maybe I will be lucky and find someone- maybe I won't. Still, no pill unless it's the one which gives me the hips and the soft skin, nice lilting voice, and a thirty year old body would be nice, too! Ah, dreams are wonderful! "The early bird catches the worm...But... It's the second mouse that gets the cheese"
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Loretta Ann
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If You Could Change, Would you?
Good topic.
I believe that I need to respond to this question in the negative, unless it also provided something that both... society and I... could and/or would accept that would provide balance in my life.
I believe that I need to respond to this question in the negative, unless it also provided something that both... society and I... could and/or would accept that would provide balance in my life.
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Virginia
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Melissa: If you read this thanks for reconfirming what I am discovering. If a "true" CD'er really studies the effects he has on his spouse, whether she accepts the CDing or not, even if he is still "in the closet". it mostly appears to be POSITIVE to the relationship. I read alot of these posts and try to read between the lines and for the most part the responses are that "we" the CD'ers that are true to ourselves are for the most part better companions to our spouses, because we tend to better understand "where they are coming from." The need for closeness, gentle touching, support, security, LOVE! We, in general, tend to better understand those female feelings better than the hairly, macho male that hasn't got a clue and doesn't want one.
So basically there are two major benefits to our journey. If makes us (the CD'er) feel good about ourselves, but it should and in most cases does extend that understanding of our partners, whether they know it, understand it or not.
Love, Deborah
So basically there are two major benefits to our journey. If makes us (the CD'er) feel good about ourselves, but it should and in most cases does extend that understanding of our partners, whether they know it, understand it or not.
Love, Deborah
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Never!
I read the post by VickieCD but I'll place my response here. Thank you Beauty for poping this up. Being new here, having a chance to read the other posts in this thread made a wonderful introduction to some of the other people here.
I firmly believe that we are the ones who DON'T have a problem.
It is the rest of the world that is all screwed up. If somebody came up with a magical pill or potion that would make hatred, bigotry and hipocracy go away, I would dump large quantities of it into the all the world's drinking water supplies in a heartbeat.
Alas, the solution to that problem is not so easy. But, even though there are significant forces currently at work trying to drag the world back to the dark ages of religious persecution, I truely believe they will be overcome by the vast majority of the world's population who really do believe in freedom for all.
Maybe I'm overly optimistic but one day, the neo-conservitives will push too far and the sleeping giant will awaken from its nap of complacency to slap them down hard.
I would have to go with SharonRose here. As many of the others said so elequently, the part of me that is Kathy is very important to who I am and I would never want to give that up under any circumstances. How could such a beautiful thing ever be viewed as bad?SharonRose wrote:The flip side of this question would be, what if you could make the rest of the world change, so that there was complete acceptance and you were free to crossdress in public, at work, etc. with no negative consequences.
I'd go for that.
I firmly believe that we are the ones who DON'T have a problem.
It is the rest of the world that is all screwed up. If somebody came up with a magical pill or potion that would make hatred, bigotry and hipocracy go away, I would dump large quantities of it into the all the world's drinking water supplies in a heartbeat.
Alas, the solution to that problem is not so easy. But, even though there are significant forces currently at work trying to drag the world back to the dark ages of religious persecution, I truely believe they will be overcome by the vast majority of the world's population who really do believe in freedom for all.
Maybe I'm overly optimistic but one day, the neo-conservitives will push too far and the sleeping giant will awaken from its nap of complacency to slap them down hard.
Whatever you accomplish in life is a manifestation not so much of what you do, as of what you believe deeply within yourself that you deserve. - Les Brown
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Elizabeth
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Melissa,
I am not the one who hates crossdressing, I love it. I mean, how it makes me feel. Would I take a pill that would make it easier for society to accept me? I am curious? Would I also suddenly get a taste for men's fashions? I had to buy some new clothes for summer and I had to take my daughter with me to pick them out. When in my male persona, I really don't care how I am dressed. I have trouble caring if I am shaved, or even if my hair if brushed. It is not that I hate that person, it is that it is just a projection of something I am not.
So I guess the question for me is, "would I take a pill that would change me into something else?" Something I don't particularly like. For the benifit of others. I have lived enough of my life for others and it has only made me unhappy. While you could take away my urge to dress, you could never take away my past, and in my past the only time I ever felt whole was when crossdressed.
So the answer is no. I don't want to change who I am, at least not in that regard.
Love always,
Elizabeth
I am not the one who hates crossdressing, I love it. I mean, how it makes me feel. Would I take a pill that would make it easier for society to accept me? I am curious? Would I also suddenly get a taste for men's fashions? I had to buy some new clothes for summer and I had to take my daughter with me to pick them out. When in my male persona, I really don't care how I am dressed. I have trouble caring if I am shaved, or even if my hair if brushed. It is not that I hate that person, it is that it is just a projection of something I am not.
So I guess the question for me is, "would I take a pill that would change me into something else?" Something I don't particularly like. For the benifit of others. I have lived enough of my life for others and it has only made me unhappy. While you could take away my urge to dress, you could never take away my past, and in my past the only time I ever felt whole was when crossdressed.
So the answer is no. I don't want to change who I am, at least not in that regard.
Love always,
Elizabeth