Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hear's one of those questions that seems to be interesting to see responses to so I hope the group here will post their opinions for all of us to see. I replied to a post on another forum with a very similar message so if you've seen this already, this is somewhat of a duplication of the one in the other group.

There are a lot of different motivating factors that drive us to want to crossdress. For some it's sexually motivated while for other's it isn't. So the question I'm asking the group is "What's YOUR motivation for dressing?"

For me, when dressed it's sort of like I've become the very object of my admiration for a period of time. Male interaction with me in any intimate form nas NEVER entered the picture although I do relish the idea of being viewed (passing) by men as well as women as the female pesonna I'm attempting to immulate.

No doubt that many CDs, especially in their younger days, do have thoughts of a sexual nature and some act upon those thoughts. I have no problem with those who do, but for me it's the illusion of becoming the object of the women I admire and respect, and the experience of feeling what I believe they surely feel when they've gone to a lot of trouble to look beautiful and are pleased with the reflection they see in the mirror. Now I know that a crossdresser's mirror often returns a somewhat deceptive reflection simply because we see what we WANT to see as opposed to what's actually there, but at the same time I also think that this selfsame image we're seeing is a TRUE repesentation of what we're feeling inside. Hope this makes sense.

OK, now what are YOUR answers and opinions? It would also be interesting to hear from some of you SO's about this. Are YOU one of the motivations that makes your husband/boyfriend want to crossdress? It's VERY possible that you are and may not even realize it!

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

Hi Dixie,

My gut response is that, like writing, I crossdress because I have to. It's just not an option for me not to crossdress. It's something that comes from so deep within me that I've yet to find a way to explain it to myself to my own satisfaction.

When I think about it a little further, however, I realize that my CDing comes to the fore in various circumstances; sometimes it's for sexual pleasure, sometimes it's just to relax and "let go" psychologically, sometimes it's for the pure sensuousness and esthetics of it, and still sometimes it's just to socialize with a group of like-gendered people.

In my own case, it also makes a big difference whether I'm alone when I crossdress or with another person. My motivations often tend to be more sexually oriented when I'm with an SO than when I'm on my own. When I'm with other T-girls and CDs in a social setting (something that's happened only rarely), I usually come to forget that I'm even crossdressed at all.

So, my motivations vary according to the setting and the mood, just as do my boy mode motivations for whatever behaviour I'm engaging in. Same goes for the resultant feelings I have when dressed; at times, I'm so aware of my body that I almost feel electric, whereas, at other times, I seem to focus more on what's going on in my mind.

Love,
CJ

Very well put, CJ! My motivations vary a great deal, and my dressing style varies along with my motivation. And it all goes along with what I plan on doing, who I'm with, and so on.

I dress a lot different for a hot time in the sack with my wife than I do for church. (I guess that shouldn't be surprising!)

This short answer is that crossdressing has ceased to be a thing to do for me. It's just getting dressed, the usual way for me.

I realized this a long time ago, long before I was full time. I found I would sometimes build up my hopes for an evening, based on what I was wearing. The reality often did not live up to my inflated hopes, leaving me with that "all dressed up and nowhere to go" feeling. As a result, I began to focus my attention less on crossdressing as an activity, and more on dressing appropriately for the planned activity. That's how everyone but crossdressers views it, of course.

I started CDing alot when I dated a GG named Ellen. It was at her request and it was for her sexual gratification, but who was I to argue.
That was when I started CDing alot and mostly when she wanted me to.

Now I dress because I like the feelings I get when I do.

I dress for a few reasons I love the feel of bodysuits, leotards, and swimsuits and how they stay in place. The staying in place is the other reason as I am afraid of tight spaces and like to sleep in a tshirt and underware. Well before I started sleeping in bodysuits the t-shirt would ride up and I would feel like I was being smothered. As for underdressing in panties I like them because they seem to fit me better then mens underware. Go figure.

Hi all,

Wow, I love the variety of responses this topic has generated. What a great idea for a topic, Dixie. Again, the diversity I see here will serve to flummox the psychiatric label-makers. Way to go, people!

Love,
CJ

Sharon,

I wouldn't be so sure about that. I've never seen you, but I'd bet you've been an inspiration for him. Also, simply your acceptance shows an inner beauty that's got to be a motivator to him too!

Dixie - http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

What motivates me to crossdress? Over the past $%$#*() years since I started crossdressing there have been a number of motivations, triggers and reasons for my wanting to crossdress. To keep this more to the point some of the main motivations have been of course sex (when I was younger mostly but there are still those wonderful times now). Another would be my desire to use myself as a canvas to create and be the way I most envied about how girls look and present themselves. However, the biggy motivation is just wanting to be and feel as much as I can, like the way women look and feel dressed up and made up. If that makes any sence? I want to look and feel how it feels to be dressed and made up the same way.

I can just about be anywhere doing anything and I will notice a woman that is dressed and made and presenting herself in such a way that I just can not help but feel the need to feel the same way she does. It's the way I am taking her presentation that I just want to melt into and feel being a women presenting the same way. It can be a picture of a woman or the real thing there is just something that appeals to my way of thinking that I just want it to be the same for me as it is for the woman I am looking at.

Now, let me say this too. I am not saying I want to feel what that women I am looking at is feeling. For all I know she is experiencing PMS, deep sorrow or a host of other physical feelings. I am just saying I find how she is presenting one of my major motivations to wnat to cross dress and look and present like she is. Trust me I know what I am trying to say and it does make for a lot of great day dreams.

Nancy,

EXCELLENT answer! It’s almost impossible to explain to someone that all we really want to do is to try to know what it FEELS like to experience beauty. I think a lot of women often take their God given beauty for granted and our admiration of this beauty is a driving force that makes us want to feel the way we think she SHOULD feel by being beautiful. I’ve got enough sense to know that what I see reflected back from a mirror or a photo is often distorted by what I WANT to see (as opposed to what’s actually there), but the feeling of being beautiful in one’s own mind’s eye is what’s important.

Thanks for the reply!

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

why do i crossdress?i love being a girl.i love girlish things,i love girl
talk,i love being emotional.i need to express my femme side,it is just
another part of myself.

I crossdress for different reasons.
sometimes to escape FROM MYSELF(in times of stress)so I can leave it all behind for a short while.
Sometimes purely for sexual purposes.
I also think that occasionally I am trying to feel closer to my mother who was never around for me.

In the past I have used all of the above as excuses to crossdress,but I guess the only reason that really matters is because I LIKE TO

Hi Dixie Darling,

Very good topic. You have made me think and most of you know by now that can be dangerous.

Like most, I have dressed for many reasons. Stress comes to mind. I have been told I seem to relax when dressed. I have dressed because I thought I wanted to be someone I was not. I do mean a full transformation. I dressed because it felt good and, of course, when I was younger there was the sexual aspect of it. I dressed at times because I thought being a girl would make me more popular than I was(or wasn't!). I dressed just because I wanted to see if I could pass in a group situation. Like CJ, once into that situation I found myself forgetting I was "dressed" and actually lived the role of the female I was portraying. At one point, I actually dressed because I knew I wasn't supposed to and wanted to rebel. Most of the time, I dressed because the clothes felt so good, and I felt so good wearing them.

Well, that's a mess of reasons and all of them, and perhaps a dozen more, have affected me during my life time. Hopefully, I still have a few more years to add some more reasons to the list. I do promise to keep trying. Love y'all.

Since coming here I have done a lot of self analysis, as well as analysis of CDing itself, in an attempt to get some sort of a hold onto the answer to the QUESTION, "Why do you crossdress?" In the trains of thought I have had while writing many of my posts I recently came to a place that I feel comfortable in answering the QUESTION.

To me femininity is like art. All that goes into the concept of femininity forms together and results in something of great beauty. When I see this it takes my breath away. I want more of it but it's usually just a fleeting moment. It's not just looks, it's grace and poise and so many other things that go into it. To me it's so fascinating and I just want to immerse myself in it. It's almost like a drug.

My objective when I dress is to create as closely as I can this image of femininity. My body detracts from that image but by using padding, wigs, makeup, etc. I can hide some of that and better create the illusion. When I look at myself and I have accomplished that it makes me feel so much at peace with myself. And that is the "drug". I like that look so much more than my male look. It reminds me of a scene from Seinfeld where Elaine says the female body is a thing of beauty but the male body is just utilitarian.

When I'm fully dressed the person inside comes alive. I become more fun loving, out going and sociable. I like that in myself. To me it's the difference between color and grayscale images. Color is so much more pleasing to the eye.

Humans have a natural attraction to pleasure. Crossdressing gives me great pleasure that is achieved from believing I have accomplished becoming feminine. It's no longer just the sense of sight that is being pleasured, touch and smell are also. And I'm not on the outside viewing from a distance, I'm inside. It's part of me.

Julie, Beautiful post! Well said.
I began dressing and being somewhat competitive in nature, I decided to challenge society by going out to see if I could pass! It was a competition to me and I won. Don't think I have ever been "outed" not to my face anyway. Then evolution set in. I began to feel a more feminine personna coming out! It has been for me an absolutely amazing transition from a competitive sense to now. Now when I look into the mirror, I do not see a guy in a dress, I see Deborah and SHE has her own ideas in how she wants to dress, act and BE! As I posted earlier, when I went for a snack, and eyed a piece of cheese cake I could hear Deborah almost yelling in my ear, OH NO YOU DON'T - NOT ON MY HIPS!!" And as I said we are now short one small apple and the cheese cake still resides in the fridge. Again I am studying and learning, I know Deborah wants to dress and go out but she also wants,desperately, to merge with my male personna and she and I know that the new creation will be an even better human being.
According to Jung, I appa=ear to be at a stage where CD'ing becomes secondary to the merging of the personna's. It is such a fantastic feeling! I love it. In fact my SO is going to her brother's this week-end so I just may take Deborah or she will take me out to dinner and a movie!
Love ya all,
Deborah

Deborah,

In the past when I referred to my femme self I would use terms like 'my other half' or 'I have a split personality' or pronouns like 'she' and 'her'. But I have recently come to the realization that Julie IS me. The male and female parts of me are just that, parts. Instead of looking at a mutli-sided shape I see it more like ingredients that all go into the same recipe that make up who I am. There is no him and her, only me. Once I realized that I stopped trying to find the "reason" I crossdress. After all I never had to justify why I love sailing or downhill skiing or golf so why should I have to justify crossdressing? I love doing all of those things and no explanation is necessary. Life's too short to explain why I do what I do.

Love,
Julie