Hi Jean,In this column, and others, I have read, or heard, of women's reactions upon finding their husbands wearing their panties or dresses, etc. Most of them express thgemselves as "in shock," "in tears," betrayed," and even "jealous." So, this post is aimed primarily at wives and SOs.
I ask, "What's the big deal?" If I were to come home and surprise my wife in my jocky shorts or tuxedo, I wouldn't feel that way. And, I don't think that most men would, whether CD or not. Now, admittedly, I may not find my wife particularly attractive, or appealing, in jocky shorts, BUT SHOCKED?
A local 6:00 news report on TV (that's television) reported that 80% of women admitted to having tried on men's underwear, but only 32% of men admitted to having tried on women's underwear.
If I saw my wife putting on my underwear, I would regard it as either curiosity, or as exploring her sexuality. I would, certainly, NEVER react with rage, indignation, shock, a feeling of betrayal, or a feeling of jealousy.
As a matter of fact, as long as she's not going out with other men, I want her to have sexual feelings, and I want her to explore them. Why should I feel either shocked or jealouse?
Why should a wife feel "shocked" at seeing her husband wearing her clothes? Women wear men's clothes all the time, and think nothing of it. I f told that they wear jeans, which are men's clothes, many women will say, and believe it, "No they aren't. See, they zip on the side (or, in back). They're made for women. They fit our shape." So... Suppose they make a frilly dress with a full skirt and a low neckline specifically to fit the shape of a men? Does that make a dress MEN'S CLOTHING? Certainly not! Dresses are still women's clothing, but some men just like to wear them. As long as it's done it private, WHAT'S SO SHOCKING ABOUT IT? But women do it quite publicly.
"BETRAYED" Betrayed by what?! Is there another woman? No! Is he bringing home venereal diseases? No! Has he shared someone else's conjugal bed? No!
" JEALOUSE" WHY?! Is their another woman? No! Has he suddenly become female? No! Is he sharing his bed with someone else? No! As a matter of fact, he probably wishes, more than anything else in the world, that you would be as sexually aroused at the sight of him in those pretty clothes, as he is.
He wishes, more than anything else, that upon seeing him in such lovely sexy lingerie (or, whatever), you would throw yourself in his arms and shower hime with kisses, allowing your hands to caress him and wander all over him, the very same way that he would if you were in the sam clothes. He knows, deep inside, of course, that that's not the way it's going to be.
Because of this, he also feels utterly shocked and betrayed BY YOU, when you burst into tears and recriminations, and when you display utter contempt and revulsion for him, when in is his own mind, he is just being pretty, sexy, and adorable, which he admires so much in you.
All of these hysterical reactions are just that... hysterical reactions based on nothing whatever!
Naturally, you don't want the neighbors or the children to see him dressed that way (since it's socially disapproved of). Naturally, you want his assurances that he's not turning queer. And naturally, you want to know that he's not contemplating a sex change operation. But, as long as it's just between the two of you (or, perhaps a few others who are into the same thing), then what difference does it really make.
He may be no more appealling to you in a dress or negligee, than you are to him in jocky shorts or a tuxedo, but other than that, what's the harm?
Actually, some women have reported that they find intimacy with their husbands, while he's dressed en femmej, to be very sexy and "naughty," a real turn-on. One lady said, "I always thought I would be turned-off by the sight of a man wearing lingerie, but I found that I was actually turned-ON by it. Mind you, it was a mild turn-on, but a turn-on, non the less.
Could some of you ladies and SOs, after reading this and giving it some deep thought, react to it and express your thoughts on the subject? I really would like to know, WHY IS THIS SUCH A BIG DEAL?!
I've read through what the SO's have posted and on Beauty's suggestion, started this thread for my input.
It appears that trying on femme articles is not the real issue. At least not for SOs. IMO the shock, rage, and indignation stems from the trust aspect of relationships. Sure, they may be upset at the appearance of a guy in a dress, but I think the real issue is being lied to by the one you love. This was definitely the issue between my wife and I. Deceit is a hard blow to any relationship, and repairing the damage can be very difficult.
Just my thoughts.
Hugs,
Kyra
