Hi! fabulous site

[Carol Ann]

that's the WOMEN in you
Go for it girl, be yourself

[Anthony Simon]

In my research it seems that a lot of cds are as with my partner are very intelligent and in high powered and stressful jobs and the pattern seems to be in our case Melissa is more predominant on stressful days, has anyone else found this?

Hi Bridget.

That subject came up quite a lot in my introductory thread here (including Davita saying pretty much what you've just said) and then I did a whole thread on it. If you're interested:

http://www.crossdressers-forum.com/foru ... =2&t=13155

http://www.crossdressers-forum.com/foru ... 32&t=13195

[Bridget (SO)]

Thanks for the links Anthony they were very helpful, so much to digest and try to understand
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[Joanne T.]

Hi Bridget,
Having just gone through the replies on your post it is clear that all the help, reassurance and encouragement is available.
Stay in there, and you will get where you want to be eventually. This forum is so helpful that it will not be too long before you are giving your own advice and sharing your experiences with new members.
Hang in there girl
Hugs
Joanne
xxxxx

[Leeza]

Hi, Bridget

[Carly]

Welcome Bridget,
Yes I do find that stress brings out Carly. I have a high stress job but unfortunately since my wife doesn't approve Carly can only express herself inwardly and not with outward appearance.

[Bridget (SO)]

Hi Carly,
As much as I have so many questions and things to understand about cding, the one thing I have no doubt about is the
fact that it's a part of who my partner is, to me and it's only my view on it I can't fully love him if I don't fully know him and Melissa. Not always easy and he knows that sometimes I need my man to come back and give me a reassuring hug. Give and take, have looked for wives so's opinions on this matter but not had much luck, would love to hear others in my situations feelings anyone know of any links please???
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[Anthony Simon]

...have looked for wives so's opinions on this matter but not had much luck, would love to hear others in my situations feelings anyone know of any links please???

That's a difficult one. I'm not sure there really is a good, positive site for wives/SOs of CDs. People tend to come here for a while and then disappear - probably because there isn't a "quorum" of regular GG posters.

I did go through some of the fairly recent new member posts, and there's one SO, Elly (SO), who posted here for a while and had a kind of compatible position to yours. There's a link from her profile to a (not very extensive) website, but there she's inviting other SOs to PM her. I don't know if she still wants that, but it might be worth a try.

[CharLee]

Bridge, have you tried googling couples who have stayed together after the husband has transitioned. There have been some reports on the Today show and other news programs on this subject.

[Carly]

Good luck on connecting with someone. Unfortunately I can not help with the wife's view since mine is non-supportive. I do see myself as close to you SO on the spectrum and any personal questions from the CDer point of view I would certainly answer if you want to PM me.

[Bridget (SO)]

Thanks Carly
As soon as I figure how to PM I will!!! May not be your SO but I'll be here to support you all the waywe all need some love and understanding of one type or another at different times of our lives and I often have found it comes from those we least expect it from!
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[TammyT]

^^ There's a little envelope icon beneath each person's post, Bridget. Click that to send a Private Message to that user.

[Requal Jo]

Hi Bridget. Welcome to a great forum. My SO allows me to dress but apprehension is still present. It would be great if I could introduce her to the forum as it may answer some questions for her.

[Bridget (SO)]

Hi Requal Jo
I was full of apprehension and doubt too, but knew that my partners wardrobe preference wouldn't change my love and feelings. Sounds like your wife is the same? I did so much research on the net in my desperation to understand, it often left me in tears and more questions than answers and thinking I can't do this! All because I ended up on the wrong sites, then on day quite by accident I came across this forum.......THANK GOD is all I can say. Everyone has been so nice and friendly and so helpful and I have spent hours reading through the different topics learning all the way and although everyone's reasons and experiences are different, there is a unique bond shared by all on here.
I would recommend this forum to anyone in fact my child is doing a school report on prejudice and I suggested this topic and site all other kids are doing sexuality or colour! That's how much faith I have in this site that I let my 15 yr old daughter read it!!!!!! Leave the forum page up on the computer so your wife sees it? (Not logged in) Maybe curiosity will get the better of her???
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[Paulette]

Hello Bridget. I add my warmest welcome.

Yes, this is a wonderful site!

I spent six decades hiding in shame. I told only my spouses-to-be that I was a cross dresser and hoped it wasn't a deal breaker. But I didn't really know and wasn't able to tell them what CD actually was. Well, nobody knows what it is! But here, we and our SOs have learned to relax about whatever-the-heck-it-is-we-are and go about our lives with a little more confidence and serenity.

The first rule of sociology - "some do, some don't" - certainly applies to cross dressers. But regardless of how far down the path to transition we go, our orientation - the sex we're attracted to - remains pretty much the same as it ever was. Similarly, the love you and your partner have for each other will probably survive. It will mature and change, but you will both survive. For the great majority of us that orientation seems to be heterosexual. After that, the first rule of cross dressers seems to be that there aren't any rules about cross dressers.

That said, there are a few semi-certainties. Having a safe place to be dressed and having a loving partner who accepts us (often more than we accept ourselves) is among the greatest blessings in our lives. That and simply getting older (I'm 73) eases the obsessive/compulsive elements. I've also found that being as inclusive as possible, rather than trying to set strict boundaries about what is a "good" or "real" CD, is by far the best policy to live by. We live in a tangle of Venn diagrams, the largest of which is simply Trans, or Transgender.

Reading and posting here and in the slightly tougher and more academic My Husband Betty forum has helped me come to terms with myself more than many years of therapy, many teaching credentials, and several degrees in psychology. (For younger people and especially those more inclined toward depression, I also recommend Laura's Playground.)

That's pretty much my basic take on all of this. Like everyone else here, I explore and suggest possibilities, but every position or stance taken is flavored with "YMMV" (your mileage may vary). I've been a teacher and professor most of my life, so I sound much more authoritative than I mean to be, even in a wig and a dress.

Again, welcome, and much love.