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Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:13 am
by Elly (SO)
'Morning all! I've been searching the internet for a good forum to use as my husband was "outed" recently. Granted, this was the best of possibilities & we're adjusting- but we're shooting blind half of the time. It was not at all what I was expecting, but it explains a lot- okay more than a lot haha! One reason I fell for him is his sweet sensitive side, and I'm so grateful he felt that he needed to tell me before throwing away our relationship of 8 years. It's fine with me, for the majority of it, and I want him to be as accepting of himself as I am, as well as have somewhere people may know more about dealing with issues that come to the forefront - So! That's me :) I'm in training to be a counselor, and really any information is cherished by me as well as confidential. I'm growing to hate the internet over this, if I google something it pops up with "It's so wrong" or some other ignorant BS - that is what's wrong, not CDs or TGs etc!! When did our world become so skewed ugh!

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 12:28 pm
by Nicole
Welcome to the internet, where 12 year olds sit on the throne and opinions don't matter.
In all seriousness, honesty is a big part of a relationship in my opinion and being open to eachother should help you along the way.
The fact that you accepted it isn't a reason to dislike things about it. In fact, perhaps you can be the best advisor in your partners style.
I am just new here. But the other girls can probably give you and your partner lots of advice.
Welcome here, and I hope you can find what you are looking for ^^

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 1:11 pm
by DonnaT
Hi Elly, -wel- to the forum.
Looking forward to hearing about how your husband was recently "outed".

Note: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... =31&t=4640" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
We ask that all Significant Others and Genetic Girls add either the (SO) or (GG) tag - and any Family/Friends to add only the (F) tag - to the end of their user name so we may identify members more clearly.

At this Forum, the (SO) tag is used by the genetically-female wife or long-term partner to a CD/TG, while the (GG) tag is used by genetically-female girlfriends.

The (F) tag is used only by family members or friends of the CD/TG and it must be used as shown; it cannot be combined with any other tag, and it can only be used in this '(F)' format.

The (SO) and (GG) tags may be used in any of the following formats, but not both in the same name:

Singular Tags - Allowed: Andrea(SO); Andrea (GG); Andrea_SO; Andrea-GG; or Andrea SO.

Double Tags - Not Allowed: Andrea (SO)(GG); Andrea (F)(GG)
So expect SilverLady(SO) to contact you about adding (SO) to your user name.

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 2:15 pm
by Anthony Simon
Welcome, Elly. Yah know, it might not be possible to be supportive all the time.

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 2:19 pm
by Carol Ann
(--) Elly,
Wow not to worry dear as a lot of us have been there done that. I am so proud of you for being supportive of your husband as mine has been for 49 years.

Tell you a couple of things my wife has told me many a time "you are still the man I married no matter the cloths you are wearing".

And besides crossdresser make good husbands ``5

We are alway here for you and we have a lot of GG and there is a section on the forum that is for SO only and we can not read them.
In the mean time -wel- to a very happy place in your life. 1kiss

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 3:23 pm
by Paula G
Welcome Elly, it is always good to hear from a supportive SO, many do have problems at least occasionally, I am sure that the others here will be glad to help if any difficulties do arise. As for the internet, somewhere where all views carry equal weight, regardless of whether they are informed, intelligent commentators or illiterate bigots!

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 3:40 pm
by Elly (SO)
Heey again :) Of course not EVERYTHING is kosher, we've been really really upfront and honest with one another which has helped a lot - it's really made us closer in that regard. It's a journey- one neither of us has been down yet, some days are great, others trying and so on.. Communication & honesty have definitely been a HUGE part of the process :)

I married the man I did because of WHO he is - Not what he wears, it's something of a mantra I just keep trying to tell myself in my head so that I keep some perspective. I'm glad to be here, and proud to wear "SO" anywhere needed for the site's matters :) And ignorance isn't always bliss, I just hate that the world we live in is so closed off from things "out" of the "comfort" zone- and just doing my best to show him that he's the man I love, that I don't look at him differently etc... He's actually been really whole lately, like not trying to overcompensate in one direction or the other- I feel like I truly get to know the whole him finally!!!

And the "outing" well... I dunno call it intuition or something but I just felt like I had to look through his history etc - found emails & a ton of stuff that made no sense at all. He tried every other explanation until there was literally nothing left to grasp for, and he just spit it out. For me, I could tell that he was really really upset by it, by lying & feeling/knowing he had to lie to me- that was more important than a lot of the logistics for me. It just... I dunno, touched me that he was sharing something so deep of himself, and after so many years there really wasn't much we didn't know of one another. We're swingers so the whole 'rules' and communication is an aspect that we know how to do pretty well, but I didn't expect to be at all joyful about it or not weirded out by him in his things around the house - yet here we are!! Most days are great, some days I'm a little neurotic with feeling like I'm not 'woman' enough for him, and still others are uncharted territory! I'm just glad to be here, and glad to learn as much as I can as well as share my journey with you or anyone who may need it :) xoxo
..^..

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 9:34 pm
by KimberlyS
Welcome to the forum Elly. It sounds like the two of you are going down the path together and that is so great. Hope it continues to go well.

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:16 pm
by SilverLady(SO)
Hi, Elly, and welcome to the forum! ..o)..

Donna is correct, you'll need to have your name amended to 'Elly (SO)' and I'll get with you on that!


- SL

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:51 pm
by Leeza
Hi Elly -wel-

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:14 am
by PhylissH
Hi Elly
Welcome to our family. You have definitely come to the right place. Every one here is very friendly and will be glad to help, I am sure.
It is always nice to meet a supportive spouse. Look forward to meeting you in the chat room some time.

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:50 pm
by DeniseL
-wel-
Hi Elly

Welcome to the Forum . There are lots of good girls here that are more than willing to help as we can

Please join us in Chat sure you will enjoy

Denise

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:57 pm
by Elly (SO)
Thanks loves :) I'm already so happy here!! Been in chat a while lately :) Thank you ALL for welcoming with open arms :roll:

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:04 pm
by Gina
Elly,

Welcome here. It is encouraging to read your words. We went through a phase of some acceptance, even support--with time my wife soured completely and now we never talk about CDing.

I do think many CDs are very fine husbands in many respects.

cheers

Re: Supportive SO here

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 5:22 pm
by Carly
Welcome Elly