Hello From Long Island

Mary Jane Thomas · Post by **Mary Jane Thomas** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:27 pm

Hello all

My name is Mary Jane and I guess we all have interesting stories. Here is mine:

I started dressing when I was a child (8-10). I used to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, not sure why. I was kind of a deep kid; I would sit there reading, thinking, staring at the double mirrors, and eventually, exploring the hamper. I would put on my mothers girdle, stockings and other items and look at myself. I distinctly remember a conversation with a bunch of friends where we all answered the question "if we could be anyone else for 1 day, who would it be?". I turned a few heads, especially a 40 something neighbor, when I said I would love to be a girl. Not too normal for a 10 year old.

The crossdressing continued on and off for almost 35 years. Up until 8 years ago I had bottled the feelings up in a corner of my brain that I just did not consciously visit. I didn't confront the reality of it, but it managed to continue, especially when I was free to be me. Then in 1997 after a long period of self improvement (lost 105 lbs!) my CD past came blazing into my consciousness.

I immediately came out to my therapist at the time, and then my wife. I even considered coming out to my children (now 15, 13, and 9). Sanity brought me back and I spent some time and money trying to figure out how my wife and I could cope with this change in our lives. She was not completely accepting and not completely condemning, our relationshhip was rocked but we are still rolling. What isn't cool is that for the first time in my life the crossdressing has almost disappeared. I also gained back the weight I lost. Not sure if there is a connection, but there you have it.

My reason for being here: I want to find an outlet that seems to have been lost. Life is complicated with children, but I want to be me. I view this group as my first step back.

Thanks for listening to my long intro.

MJ

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:36 pm

Hi Mary Jane,

WOW! What a great intro!

You've been through quite a bit and I think you're a hero for making it through life while taking the bumps and bruises it brings. I love the answer you gave when you were 10.

I remember a car ride when I was 8 or so and we were all holding up our legs in the car and looking at our silhouettes. Everyone was saying their looked likes they were wearing socks and I said, "Mine are stockings"

My aunt told the car that boys couldn't wear them or something like that and I was like, "Well I am." The car got kind of quiet for a while and the game stopped.

I'm glad you've joined us here. I think you'll find out quite a bit about yourself and how you're really not alone.

Beauty

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 3:19 pm

Hi Mary Jane'
You will find a lot of your sisters here experienced the same "later in life" eruption of their anima! I know I did and with the unbounded help of my sisters here I have accepted this gift I have and it has changed my life for the best!!! Hope you choose to stay around and participate with us!
Virginia

Mary Jane Thomas · Post by **Mary Jane Thomas** » Tue Aug 09, 2005 8:54 am

Thanks for the welcome girls!

That's very funny about what happened in the car Beauty. I guess the silence we heard was identical!

mj

CJ · Post by CJ » Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:03 am

Hi Mary Jane! Welcome to the forum.

Yes, it's hard, isn't it, when we first encounter that double-message?: "You can be anything you want to be in this world... except this or that or the other thing." It messes with your head. It messed with mine, anyway.

Great post. Great to have you onboard!

Love,
CJ

Post by **DonnaT** » Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:04 am

aboard, Mary Jane.

I've been fighting my weight too, and at times it can be tiring. But I look forward not only to better health, but more diverse clothing for sale

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Wed Aug 10, 2005 9:54 am

Hello Mary Jane and

,
I understand where you are coming from, once I retired and moved away from the children I was free to do as I wish. My wife is supportive and will let me dress all I want (luckie me)

Carol Ann

Joanna_S · Post by **Joanna_S** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 11:34 am

Hi Mary Jane!

Interesting introduction! I hope we can somehow lighten your burden and that eventually you´ll find a way to blend crossdressing with your everyday life.

Joanna

Steffie · Post by **Steffie** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:39 pm

Hi Mary Jane,

! I, like some of the other girls here, know all too well about weight. Loving to eat is a curse sometimes. I also know that CDing has its peaks and valleys in terms of desire to crossdress. I think like everything else, making it a small part of your life will make it fun. I know if I did it all the time, I am afraid it would become routine and maybe boring. I always want it to feel like Christmas morning, opening presents. Hope you enjoy our forum!

Steffie