Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hi all,

The "dot" posted this article on the CDDF yesterday. I thought it was pretty interesting. This one line stood out, for me: "I learned what it was like to be a cross dresser, not what it felt like to be a woman."

School was never like this in my day!

Love,
CJ

http://jenellerose.com/pol/gender_switc ... mpathy.htm

CJ,
Cute story. If we had to take that class do you think we'd pass the exam? Bet we could at least pass the walking and dressing part and maybe even the makeup. Wonder if any guys dropped the class? rr

CJ,

Very interesting article. This is what stood out for me.

"If guys don't smile I see why they're depressed. It causes them to internalize everything,"

This kind of rang a bell for me because I smile a lot. I noticed that now that I dress full time, both men and women smile back at me, whereas before usually only women smiled back at me and even many of them were subdued fearing a unwanted sexual advance. And after reading that it is easy for me to see that before I crossdressed I did supress my smiling because other men don't respond to it. Many times it upsets men when other men smile at them.

However now I notice that everyone smiles back at me. Whit the exception of a few who are just too upset by crossdressing in general. It seems to me, and I am curious if any of my sisters have experienced this, that people are willing to accept my gender role evern though I am not passable. As if by mere virtue of assuming the role of a woman, I am one, at least intellectually and emotionally.

I do agree with the person who said they now know what it feels like to be a crossdresser, not necessarily a woman. However having said that, it's hard not to empathize with the oppisite sex more, after having experienced thier point of view, social stereotypes, and social demands.

Nice post.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Hi all,

Elizabeth wrote: people are willing to accept my gender role evern though I am not passable.

Elizabeth, whether I'm passable or not, it's usually been my experience as well. This, despite the fact that friends and family tend to see "self" when they interact with me whereas strangers see mostly "role." Those close to me tell me they love me and care about me regardless of my perceived gender (and, indeed, regardless of my sex, as well); those who just meet me and are told of my gender variance simply adopt, at first, a neutral attitude--as a rule, they know little of TG and CD issues--but, then, they come to be curious and intrigued.

Rule of thumb: people will only accept you insofar as you accept yourself. Kathy (SO) made this clear in her own thread on the subject. And she's right, of course.

Obviously, it's quite a different matter when you're, in a sense, "forced" to take on the roles of the opposite gender and the appearance of the opposite sex, as was the case in this little classroom experiment. Assuming the guise and roles of the opposite sex will lead to a greater understanding of, and sympathy for, the "Other" only insofar as you can willingly shelve (however momentarily) your stake in your own, usual, gender roles and appearance (this would be an example of what philosophers preoccupied with phenomenology call the technique of "bracketing"). I don't think this was the case in this experiment; I'm not sure the students there, in that classroom, on that day, were able to treat the whole thing as anything but a lark (albeit an undoubtedly entertaining and mildly stimulating one).

Still, I think there's progress; an experiment such as this one would've been unthinkable in the 50's.

Love,
CJ

Hi CJ and all. Actually, our little school had two traditions of long standing, one being Sadie Hawkins Day where the gals asked the guys and carried their books, opened doors and in general squired them around-- to the amusement of all, unless of course you did not have a girl friend , then there was Backwards Day, which was a cross dressing day. Not mandatory either, of course. Closest I came to participating was in my 15th year, when my next door neighbor offered clothes if I wanted to dress up. I was having a hard time right then with the gender confusion, and I guess I felt that would just be the last straw, not the release I needed. So I refused the offer!!!! That was the last year. Local Baptist and Assembly of God people lost their sense of humor, and got the tradition closed down after nearly 50 years. They tried to revive it a few years ago, but it failed due to lack of interest.

Carolynn