a joke a day keeps the doctor away

[Carolynn]

A frog called the psychic hotline and was told, "You will meet a beautiful young woman wo will want to learn everything about you!"

"Great," said the Frog. Will I meet her at a party or what"?

"Nooooo," says the psychic, "you'll meet her next term in biology 101!"

Hmmmmm. How come we never see the headline, "Psychic wins millions in National Lottery!"????

[Carolynn]

This one came via my mother's minister (a Baptist!).

A man walked into the Women's Department of Macy's in New York City. He told the saleslady "I would like a Baptist bra for my wife, size 36B." With a quizzical look the saleslady asked? "What kind of bra?" He repeated "A Baptist Bra" - She said to tell you that she wanted a Baptist Bra, and that you would know what she wanted." "Ah, now I remember" said the saleslady. "We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Most of our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian type." Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked "So, what are the differences?" The lady responded. "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen and the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright." He mused on that information for a minute, and asked "So, what is the Baptist type for?" Oh she replied!! "They make mountains out of molehills."

[Laura Ashcroft]

A farmer was notoriously miserly called a doctor to attend his sick wife.

"They say you're a skinflint," said the doctor. "Can I be sure of my fee?"

"Whether you kill my wife or cure her, you'll get your money without having to sue," said the farmer.

But the woman died, despite all the doctor's efforts to save her. He duly asked for his payment.

"Did you cure my wife?" asked the man.

"No," admitted the doctor.

"Did you kill her?"

"Certainly not!" the doctor said indignantly.

"Well, then, I owe you nothing."