Well, I couldnt help myself. I said to her, "No, I'm going to go back on the Purina diet again" ,smiled and turned back to the cashier. The woman just had to ask what was the purina diet. I told her that I had been on it once before and lost 35lbs. in a month. I explained that the way the diet worked was you carried around a little baggy of the dry dog food with you and when you got hungry, instead of eating a big meal you just popped a few of them in your mouth and it satisfied the hunger. Since it actually was a food product it wasn't harmful to you at all. I told her that I wanted to start it again because I had ended up in intensive care before I had lost all the weight I was aiming for.
She asked me if that sounded like a good idea since I had ended up in the hospital the last time I had been on it. I explained that the diet didn't harm me at all. It was perfectly safe. The problem came when I stepped of the curb to sniff some Irish Setters backside and got hit by a cab.
You just KNOW that joke belongs in the parrot jokes thread. 
