Crossdressers-Haven.com

I'm not sure where I should be putting this one, or if it means anything but here goes......

I have been having a look at the some stats on membership of this forum, there are 1,461 registered members, of these there are 306 who have not yet posted at all, and 155 with 100 or more posts. I have been a member since the begining of November last year and have made about 175 posts, so I guess I boost the average a bit. But I wonder are people joining and then not finding the help they are looking for? Are we in some way too exclusive, I felt as though I fitted in straight away, but maybe someone shyer?

There also seem to be quite a few who have not posted for a while, maybe the need to be active in the forum waxes and wains like other aspects of our activities?

Maybe some of you who havn't posted yet will see this and want to respond. Either way I hope that you get whatever help and support you need.

It's that way with many forums.

People find them too cliquey, they lose interest, join to see elements not available to non-members, get mad at other members, get caught out by a spouse, etc. So they come, they go, they lurk, etc.

I've noticed similar ups and downs in the chatroom. There are some who get on and stay there "listening" and sometimes don't even sat "Hi". I've encountered a few who get quite loquacious but only in the PM window.

Maybe some of us talk too much?

Hugs,

Lydia

My experience is that you may join a group because you want the friendship, support help etc. However, the transition, between joining and participating, in my cases may taken a while..if at all. This may account for some of the number not contributing. Also my impression is that many of use face complex social lives, which in itself, I expect would be reflected in the usage stats. A third issue is that different people are fighting with themselves, and they are finding a level of help simply by being able to register and see what other people are going through or have gone through etc...this in my own mind validates the existence of the site.

Your question is a valid on in my mind, my day job is as a social-scientist (not in this field, so no one worry!), but for me it is a natural desire to want to see more research in this area...and I could see an interesting PhD proposal developing here for someone....

I'm somewhat new but also a low poster. My logging on goes in spurts and when I am here sometimes I don't find topics that really need my input. I don't know if this is true, but I suspect a lot of us pay little attention to the previous posts to the thread, post our tidbit, then get ignored by later posters.

Julieanne

I never talk too much in chat.

probably all the reasons given so far describe someone, but I would also add another. I think there are a certain number of people who are not prepared to say anything for whatever reason, but just want to be around others with a similiar interest. There are quite a few times I will spend some time reading everything, but just don't have anything to say.

Maybe some of us just talk to much! Maybe some of us just want to be social butterflys. I want to find out about how others think and handle their own situations. It is good to know that I am not alone in all of this. I think that it is good to share your feelings and not let them stay bottled up. There are some things that I can not talk to my SO about, even though she is accepting and knows about this life style. Yes, she even knows that I visit this forum and that is ok with her also.

Hi all! Its always been an interesting topic for me....why some girls get soooo engrossed with a new thing, whether just joining a site like this, going out, joining Triess or simply going on a buying spree (I hate that ). The Orlando Triess group had a great article entitled "Butterflies" if I remember correctly. After years of hiding, some come out and burn out after awhile. But, in my case its simply a matter of family issues (which many others have also). My elderly dad has become more and more a burden on me, one which I accept lovingly. It does affect my postings here....time issues. It also has limited my Dee adventures since I can't leave him alone and in-house care is soooo expensive. But I'm still here, not as active as I wish I could be. So, theres a multitude of reasons for people fading away....family, job, change of focus. As I said before in another post, I don't want to be on my deathbed wishing I had done (insert wish here).......so I did stuff and will in the future when things stabilize here. Hopefully my old posts might help somebody just to go that extra step to fulfillment
Hugs all
DeeDee

As others have said.

Perhaps better than I. So I read and move on.

I talk too much and I tend to babble. In light of that, I often wonder if I have much of any worth to say. I have been guilty, in the past, of not reading all posts in a topic and repeat what someone else has previously written.

And I talk too much about me. As though I know something.

Andrea

Hi. Good topic. Just letting everyone know I'm still here. Mostly lurking. Not as active as I once was.

Active, Geri?

back.

Gues i am not much of a talker and certainly no writter.
Love to read , do chat but mostly making music or designing.

I never talk too much. I talk about myself just the right amount of time when I'm in chat. The other members may have a different idea.

Hi Donna,
Thanks. Im going to work on being more active and not so much of a lurker.