Ann Landers Columns on CD'ing

[Alana]

Hi all,

I have six old Ann Landers columns on crossdressing that I have carried around in my billfold for many years. I don't know how old they are but they helped me understand some about crossdressing and that I wasn't alone. What is said mirrors much of what I have seen in this forum.

If anyone is interested, I'd be glad to post them. I'll post them in this thread over time. It may take a while as they are fairly long and I would do them one at a time. Three of them are somewhat connected, so I'd post them in apparent chronological order.

Just reply to the poll as to whether or not you'd like to see them.

Love,

Alana

[Laycee]

I would love for them to be posted.

[Dallas]

Yes please do. I think alot of people starting out right now, like me, could really gain more self-esteem and learn something from them.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Absolutely, Alana!! I do the same with any Dear Abby columns I happen to see in the paper (also online).

I'm looking forward to reading them!!

- SL

[Absaroka]

Ann Landers was the4 first education I had in CDing. That was where I learned that it was not a sign I was gay and also that it wasn't anything to get upset about. Definitely post them.

Absaroka

[Grace]

Ann Landers went through a transition. I remember reading her columns in the mid-50's, and, already being a crossdresser, I was keenly interested in what she had to say. I was disturbed when she indicated it was an illness. Someone wrote to her saying she playfully had her husband wear something of hers, and then later found he wanted to do that again and with increasing frequency, and wear more of her stuff. Ann's response was that he was ill and that her husband should seek professional counseling.

Fast forward to the late 60's and her attitude had completely changed, now treating it as something not far out of the ordinary, not to be feared, etc. I suspect the change either happened because she became more educated, or the psychiatric community became more enlightened, or the original "Ann Landers" was replaced by another person using the same pseudonym.

Grace

[Stephanie W]

Grace

I suspect the change either happened because she became more educated

ABSOLUTELY!!! Progress wouldn't exist without it.

Stephanie

[Alana]

Dear Ann I am in a state of shock and need your help. My fiance is a highly respected, successful attoney, masculine in every way. Last night "Tom" confided that he likes to wear women's clothes on Sunday afternoons. (Never in public, however.) He described in detail his secret wardrobe, wigs, lingerie, satin nighties, high heels and padded bras.

This man has no homosexual characteristics. In fact, he is very macho, works out four times a week and is a very satisfying lover. I love Tom with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with him. When he gave me a beautiful engagement ring last June, I was so happy I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

Ann, I am disturbed and upset. I don't know what to make of this. Is Tom a homosexual? Please help me understand.
--Somewhere in Pennsylvania

Dear Somewhere: Your fiance is a transvestite. Many transvestites enjoy dressing in women's clothes but do not necessarily engage in homosexual acts. Some are happily married to women who understand this deviation and accept it.

Not all women can handle this. If you plan to marry Tom, I suggest counseling-- for you, not Tom. He is not going to give this up, and you need to learn how to live with it.

[Gerri]

Yes please do, being new to this I would like to read her columns

[Gaven McLaren]

Please post them. I love to read Ann.

[Alana]

Dear Ann
That letter from "Somewhere in Pennsylvania" caught my eye. "Somewhere's" fiance "Tom" is a cross-dressing successful attorney. She wanted to know if he is a homosexual. I can tell her- it ain't necessarily so.

I am a cross-dresser and strictly heterosexual. When I was growing up, there wasn't much reliable information on this subject. My encyclopedia said cross-dressers were homosexuals, so I fought the urge to cross-dress for may years. I knew I wasn't homosexual, but I was afraid of what others might think.

After I married, I told my wife about my secret urge. She did her best to be understanding but then forced me to see a therapist, who insisted I give up cross-dressing to save my marriage. It was very painful at first, but I did it.

I still think about cross-dressing, and even writing about it causes me pain, but I owe my kids a decent upbringing, and my sexual fulfillment is less important than they are. I hope Tom resolves this dilemma before he marries.
-Middle America

Dear Middle America
Thanks for the input. Keep reading for more.

From Oregon: Your response about the cross-dressing attorney was surprising. Why didn't you tell her to dump the creep and his padded bra? She said he has no homosexual characteristics. Well, what do you think cross-dressing is? I walked in on a former boyfriend and was shocked to see him wearing my silk negligee and a great big smile on his face. This is a guy who was very macho and into weight lifting and deer hunting. We never married, which was lucky for me.

Portland, Me.: Bravo, Ann for your wise response to "Somewhere in Pennsylvania." There is no way her fiance will give up cross-dressing. If he says he will, he'll do it behind her back. It was decent of him to level with her before they married. Many men in his position mistakenly believe marriage will "cure" them. It won't.

Somewhere in Arizona I offer a lifetime of experience to "Somewhere." Her fear that her transvestite boyfriend is homosexual is groundless. I have enjoyed cross-dressing for many years and am completely normal. I've had a successful business career and am married with four children and five grandchildren.

Hamilton, Ontario: "Somewhere in Pennsylvania" should get out NOW. Her cross-dressing boyfriend will never change. I've been there. Coming home and finding a man in a dress never turned my crank. The prospect of telling the kids why Dad locked himself in the bathroom for hours was no piece of cake, either. My psychiatrist said I had a problem because I couldn' accept it.

El Monte, Calif.: Thanks for your response on cross-dressing. I'm a psychologist and a transvestite, and I'm married to a wonderful, supportive woman. I take exception, however, to your use of the word "deviant." I prefer "variant." It is less judgmental.

San Diego: For the last 11 years, I have been working with transvestites, doing makeup, wigs, hair removal and body waxing. Some of my clients are doctors, lawyers, CEOs and businessmen who are extremely successful. It has been a learning experience that has made me much more tolerant. Many of these men have become friends.

[Alana]

Dear Ann: A year ago I knew nothing about cross-dressing. Today, I know many cross-dressers and socialize with them regularly. You probably do, too, but you are not aware of it.

A cross-dresser can be your attorney, your physician, your child's kindergarten teacher or your druggist. They should not be labeled "peculiar." Actually they are sensitive, courageous men who are not afraid to express the caring, nuturing side of themselves. And please set the record straight once and for all-- they are not gay.

The gentleman whose therapist told him to give up cross-dressing needs to find another therapist. Cross-dressing fills a strong need in some males, and they should not be asked to hide a part of who they are.
--Happily Married to One in Ohio

Dear Happily Married: Thank you for a solid rebuttal. I received a ton of mail on this subject, and most who wrote agreed with you. Keep reading for more.

From San Diego: Why all the hulabaloo about cross-dressing? Women have been cross-dressing for years, and no one gives it a second thought. Women wear jeans, flannel shirts, boots, sneakers and tuxedos. Some even go to men's stores and buy raincoats. So what's the big deal?

Long Island, N.Y.: In Scotland, men have been wearing skirts for centuries. They are called kilts, and no one has ever suggested that the Scots are sissies.

Tujunga, Calif.: Cross-dressing is not a crime, nor is it a communicable disease. Also, it does not mean the guy is gay. If a woman wears a pantsuit, would you call her a lesbian?

Lansing, Mich.: People discuss cross-dressing as though it is nothing more than playing "dress up." It is a lot more than than that. It is a sexually fulfilling experience. Those who deny it are not being honest.

West Coast: My husband is the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. For the 15 years of our marriage, he has worn women's underwear. He is not gay. He simply enjoys the feel of it. We have a healthy sex life and two fine children. He told me about his "secret" before we were married and it never made a particle of difference to me.

St. Petersburg, Fla.: Cross-dressing flap? Let the Bible settle it. From Deuteronomy 22:5: A woman shall not wear that which pertains to man; neither shall man wear women's clothing; for all that do are an abomination to the Lord.

Brantford, Ontario: What's wrong with people anyway? A man can't wear a pink shirt these days without somebody wondering if he's loose in his loafers.

Los Angeles: Those tolerant of transvestism defend it on the grounds that "it has nothing to do with being gay." I was surprised and offended that you did not speak up to defend the gay community.

Miami: My husband is a cross-dresser, and I love it. When we take vacations, we dine in the finest restaurants, and he wears his fanciest outfits. I hate to admit it, but he is prettier than I am.

Chicago: Not only clothing but jewelry has crossed the gender line. What do you think of Michael Jorden wearing an earring? -- Go Bulls

Dear Go: If you think I'm going to criticize Michael Jordan, think again. He could wear a wedding veil and four strands of pearls like Dennis, and I wouldn't say a word.

[KimberlyS]

Alana thanks for posting.

[Alana]

Dear Ann: I am a 30-something male with a problem I'm too ashamed to discuss with anyone.

I seem to be developing an overwhelming compulsion to wear women's clothes. It is a feeling I've had on and off throughout my life, but I've always managed to suppress it. Lately, the urge seems to be getting stronger and more compelling. I'm afraid I might finally cave in, and the very thought of it sickens me.

I am not gay, and there is nothing in my background to explain why I have these unconventional urges. I've read up on this type of perversion at the library, and there doesn't seem to be a cure for it. The literature is a lot of psychobabble that adds up to "learn to accept the woman within." This is not a viable option for me. If there's a "woman within," I want her dead.

Please don't suggest counseling because there is no way I would admit something like this to another person. Do you know of any way I can eliminate or control this urge on my own?-- Illinois Reader

Dear Reader: I spoke with one of the country's foremost authorities on this subject, Dr. John Money, professor emeritus of medical psychology and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. He made it clear that there is no substantial evidence that you can be helped by counseling.

Dr. Money said that since you seem extremely agitated by this compulsion and are eager to get rid of it, there is a course of action you might follow. Find a physician who understands endocrinology. He or she can give you shots to reduce your testosterone level. Soon the urges you dislike so intensely will disappear.

[Elizabeth]

Dr. Money said that since you seem extremely agitated by this compulsion and are eager to get rid of it, there is a course of action you might follow. Find a physician who understands endocrinology. He or she can give you shots to reduce your testosterone level. Soon the urges you dislike so intensely will disappear.

This is the first I have heard of this. I have never heard that the urge to crossdress is caused by testosterone levels being too high. Once again it implies this is a sexual urge only. For many it is not a sexual urge at all and blocking all the testosterone in the world will not diminish the urge. This is just silly and bad advice.

Love always,
Elizabeth