Crossdressers-Haven.com

The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur, but I do know I am very lucky and have one of the best wives out there.

Just a quick history, can't refer you to my original post that included that.

I started dressing when I was about 5 and have been off and on for the last 35 years. I have purchased and purged I don't know how many times. It has cost me a couple relationships as well. Pretty standard history.

Well, my wife (2nd marriage for us both) found my stash of panties a couple of years back, and we went through a tough time. We basically did the "it isn't seen, it doesn't exist " routine.

Well, here is why I am lucky.

Two weeks ago my wife and I started talking about it. She was actually interested in it this time. We stayed up talking until 4:30 in the morning.

Now we not only discussed it, we went shopping to buy new panties and stockings, we went away last weekend and she bought me a dress with matching underwear, and we got something for her too.

We even have some shoes on the way.

Her reasoning is that she wants me to be happy, because if I am happy, she is happy. She would have to be the most wonderful woman on earth.

Now we have even sorted out where we will have girlfriend nights and just cuddle, watch movies and do each others hair.

She has said she will visit the forum, maybe join, maybe not, but she wants to see that we are just normal people with normal needs.

Sorry for the long post, but I am just the happiest girl on earth right now

Arianne,
I would imagine that congratulations are in order, but we have a motto here and it seems to work: "Baby steps, honey, just baby steps." It just means that take your time, do not force a lot of things on her all at once. Let her take the lead and ask questions. I can point out several things that our SO/GG's get very upset with. Number 1 is NOT telling them on the front end. At that point it is not the dressing so much as it is the (as they preceive) the lying and their mind goes on to "If he lied about this, what else has he lied about!?"
For a lot of GG's this "gift" is just beyond their ability to fathom. They just can not get their mind around it! (My "ex" will attest to that!) If you have an SO who will even consider discussing it you have a real treasure so guard it, protect it, and most of all communicate with her! She may truly want to know about it and as I have said before, "a GG can do a lot worse than having a relationship with a crossdresser!"
My sisters here on the forum have so much they can share with you and your SO! AND as you may know there is a private area where just GG's can get together and share thoughts and ideas. I can assure you it is private and can give your SO an opportunity to share her concerns with other GG's who may be dealing with the same feelings and possible misgivings!
Baby steps, honey, just baby steps!
Hope you stay, share and participate!
Love,
Virginia

Thankyou Virginia, I am taking the baby steps.

The best thing is, she is taking me shopping, she is picking things out for me, and yes, we are discussing limits, such as shaving and the like.

She has been letting me paint my nails for the last few months, admittedly it is Sally Hansen Hard as nails, to protect them at work, and my hair is well past my shoulders now. I guess she has known it was more than just panties for quite a while now.

There is a little more to our relationship than I would reveal here, let us just say it was not vanilla before this.

I am very open to advice, and I would love for my wife to join, I didn't realise that some of the GG areas were GG exclusive, so I will let her know that, may help her out a little.

OH, just a blond moment, but Tennessee. Let's see, raised in Bristol. Went to college at Tennessee Tech, did graduate work at Univ. of Chattanooga. Sworn into the Navy flight program in Memphis. I am even familiar with the home place of Sgt. Alvin York, and Oneida and Robbins and Wartburg and I love Gatlinburg and the lakes and I have deer hunted all over Montrey mountain and Crossville and Putnam County. I even enjoy Printers Alley in Music City, yeah, I know TMI! Did my student teaching at Galatin High School - probably before you were born!
Would you believe at 16 I ran moonshine between Bristol and Kingsport?

Great state, Tennessee!
Virginia

(I took my name Virginia after my mother and my middle name, Irene after her mother) I have always said, I think they would be proud of their daughter!
Don't mean to scare you, but I have covered that state and I love it!
Keep the faith,
Virginia

I live in Tennessee now, originally from New Zealand

I will have to post how my wife, who is from Indiana, and I met, lovely story

Congratulations Arianne.

We'll look forward to your wife's participation.

Give her some time, I mentioned how welcome she would be here and she pointed out that she will, she just needs a little time as it is still a lot to take in.

As people say , Baby steps.

Arianne,

Just remember not to push to hard, my wife didn't want to talk about it at first
but I got her to go to a Tri-Ess meeting and after talking to other wifes she is now very understanding.

Arianne,

I second what Virginia said! She is a very wise woman who has been there done that. As a spouse I feel that you are letting her take the lead which is great. Just keep in mind this is all new to her. She is also experimenting to see what she is comfortable with. Jut because she does something does not mean that she may be totally comortable with it. Shoot there are somethings that even I am not totally comfortable with but I keep in mind that there are things that I do that Elayne may not like totally. Keep posting and I look forward to your wife joining.

Arianne


Communication is a good thing....keep it open and things will be ok

Lori

I have been talking with her, we both keep coming up with things to discuss. It is like we are back to where we have just met and we have a lot of information for each other.

Basically, we have a relationship where honesty is tantamount to it's success. We let the honesty lapse for a while, we fell into a rut, that was about when she found my stash. We didn't work at it and the rut got deeper. A few weeks back, we renewed our relationship, the honesty came back. I opened up to her and we talked about it for hours. Since then we have talked a lot more than we have before. I am back to wearing panties to work, which while it hadn't been encouraged before, it had been allowed.

Now, we have bought some items of clothing, with the undestanding that I will limit their use and be discreet. She has seen me dressed twice, didn't run. We have even purchased some clothing online, but that is for our lifestyle. I get to play male and female roles there.

She is a very smart lady, she knows I have been wearing panties off and on while we have been together. She even got annoyed with my last purge, said I wasted some very nice panties.

So we will continue our discussions, we will continue to experiment, with my wife setting the limits.


You are all so wonderfully supportive, I thank you all

Little update for you all.

My wife and I have been exploring our new relationship, she is actually starting to like the whole me a lot more than she expected.

What she loves the most is the fact that I am a lot more open about my feelings and more receptive to hers now. While she is still cautious about a lot of things, she is much happier now.

Nicest thing for me is her acceptance and the way she keeps telling me how lucky we are. She recently chatted with someone on another forum we use, discovering that this guys wife knew about his CDing before they were married and let him dress, right up until they got married, then it ended. Poor guy is miserable now.

I think I have one of the best wives around, she even took me shopping at Goodwill yesterday, thought she was wanting something, but we bought for her and me, some great items for both of us.

Arianne

All good things come to those who wait! Congratulations and good luck. Anything that can enhance a relationship is never a bad thing - even when it's enjoying a CDing partner. Just stay conscious of her needs and you shouldn't go far wrong. As I always say, be prepared for a few bumps along the way as she finds her comfort level among your new joint endeavor. Most important of all, enjoy your good fortune and always remember how lucky you are to have such a great gal.

Stephanie

Thanks Stephanie

That's great!! Lucky girl!! I. My wife and I are in the "she doesn't want it in her face" stage and I doubt it will ever change.......

Karren