Crossdressers-Haven.com

A female work friend of mine, who likes to tease a little sent a Bluetooth picture of herself to my phone, a very nice shot of herself flashing her bra. I love that picture and I told her how much I liked the bra she was wearing. A week later she approached me at work and said "here I`ve got you a present but don't open it here" My curiosity turned to excitement when I realised that she had given me her sexy bra........... I could not wait to get home and check out this sexy gift and try it on myself...... It was a little small for me but with a bra extender I managed to get it on, what a great feeling, I love wearing bras but I get a real buzz wearing another womans bra . I wear this bra often when out driving.
lots more to tell soonxxxxx Debbieb

Wouldn't you be happier owning your own bra?

Eileen

If my husband had a relationship like this with a co worker I would NOT be OK with it. That's too intimate & personal to share with a woman who is not your wife.


*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

DebbieB wrote: I love wearing bras but I get a real buzz wearing another womans bra .

Cross dressers or Transgendered do not get a thrill out of wearing other people's intimates. You have a sexual fetish and that is much different than gender identity issues.

Eileen

Eileen (SO) wrote: Cross dressers or Transgendered do not get a thrill out of wearing other people's intimates. You have a sexual fetish and that is much different than gender identity issues.

Eileen

This is over the top in its certainty.

Sorry, Anthony, but anyone who 'gets a thrill' from wearing someone else's clothes is actually displaying a fetish because they are getting a thrill from doing something that society deems incorrect.

For a real CD/TG it's not about the clothes because it's who they really are on the inside; the clothes just help them project that inner image.

There is a huge difference between the two.


- SL

No doubt the sexual element is there. But then that's present for many of us CDs. But equally, this was a gift - a beautiful thing in itself. It was also the equation of Debbie with her friend by the giving of the most feminine article in a woman's wardrobe - in a sense the very essence of femininity itself - a bra.

It could be a woman saying "you're a woman like me". That's the sort of validation I crave. On a profound level it would be thrilling for me. Deeper than sexual? I leave that up to the psychiatrists. Or maybe my wife, if I ever find one.

Debbie has almost no posts here. Analysis at a distance is less than a pure thing. Yet we have this instant reduction of her to one element. It's over the top in its certainty.

There is a thrill in wearing nice clothing, doesn't matter much on gender identity. Sexual, sensual, whatever. A man in a great suit is sexy. Women like looking good, whether GG's, CD's, or TG's, a nice outfit is emotionally satisfying.

The issue in this thread is of a married man exchanging photos of a sexual content with a coworker and getting a 'thrill' or 'buzz' out of wearing her bra. Most, not all, dressers get more pleasure from having their very own clothing, bought for them in their size. One of the biggest fears a CD partner has is that this dressing behavior is sexual, getting jollies from clothing and not the female partner. Years of assurances that this not the case, that dressing is expressing the 'inner woman', makes posts like this one disturbing.

Certainly there is a wide spectrum among the members on forums such as this. That's for Administration to work out. But we should be honest with each other. Posting sexual thrills on a respectable forum is boring conversation and takes away from those that have real issues.
As far as being 'over the top in it's certainty', we can judge fairly on the written words and take them as serious. This is fetish behavior.

Anthony Simon wrote: Debbie has almost no posts here. Analysis at a distance is less than a pure thing. Yet we have this instant reduction of her to one element. It's over the top in its certainty.

How many similar posts need to be made before an honest opinion can be formed?

Eileen

My instincts are that Debbie is a decent person with a number of issues. Because of that core sense of decency, I don't believe that the sexual one is the central one. That's fundamentally where I'm coming from, if we're being honest.

In a general way, I absolutely feel that we're in danger of getting carried away and damning someone who, at root, does not deserve to be damned. If you're concerned that having inane sexual discussions here would damage the group, I agree. But, equally, if you blow out someone who is genuinely deserving that'll damage the group.

Hi,

I would like to say coming from one who is quite shy in many aspects of who I am as a person ,

we Jos and I have a friend who needed too change her clothes I wont detail it and Jos asked me would I lend our friend .- female- some of my clothes I said yes of cause no ? s asked as my skirts and so on would fit her so that was okay im more than happy to ,

Now this is where its different ,

I had put in the local rag = paper = if any were interested in starting up a group for dressers trans female or any one interested in get to gethers , well I had one guy ph and come to our home so I thought he was a dresser okay so far and then asked if I had any clothes female such as skirts dress,s and what ever I said yes so he asked if he could try on a skirt and top I thought ..okay...so did then asked if bras and nickers , and I thought,,,,, what ....your not a dresser men don't ask us for those gee.... so I got Jos and told her and said im not happy about this , so went back and said no I don't lone my bra,s or nickers that's very personal they are mine to wear not for some one else no way ever , if need to another female like myself yes to a male ...NO....end of , so my thoughts were this is a sexual detail and im not having it so he left shortly after so Jos and I talked about it and I said no way ..... no more .

despite my being a strong woman im very sensitive to what I wear and if a male wore my bra,s or nickers and Jos knows I,d burn them what you may know or not is men have tried to touch me and I go into fight mode so clothes are a bit more than just clothes that if a man wears my clothes my body goes to fend off...... sorry I cant find the words ......it does something to me in a very reactive way if you like ....I,LL kill you so don't touch ......may be men don't really know us ,

we are different and this just gets to close hope I explained this , even now its stirring me up just writing about it ,

...noeleena...

Debbie, being a new girl here and maybe not fully understanding the ethos of the Haven,made an inappropriate post,this has been pointed out to her and she has apologised.

In my humble opinion, anybody who has the decency to apologise sincerely for something they regret, should have their apology accepted and that should be the end of the matter.

To save Debbie any further embarrassment I think the matters should be left lie at that.

Gina L.

Well I will disagree that the post was inappropriate. I consider this to be a valid subject for discussion, of course on the basis that all discussion remain polite and respectful.

So maybe this does fall under the realm of a fetish rather than genuine cross dressing. BTW, did anyone ever come up with any valid classification system? I seem to have missed it. I was under the impression that this site helps us all to deal with any variety of issues we have related to non-standard clothing preferences.

This is an issue for Debbie, and refusing to address it, or just condemning it is not going to help her. Undoubtably it is a sensitive topic, and I agree that it brings up many questions about the relationship with the co-worker. My complaint would be with the woman who is sending those sorts of pictures of herself to men she is not married to.

I would say that there are quite a number of questions to be dealt with here. And I also say that this is the place to deal with them.

Ralitsa, your response helped put the discussion back in proper perspective. No, there is not a set of classification rules to follow. Diversity among a group of like minded people is the beauty of conversation, trying to understand each other or politely disagree.

On this site, and the forum my husband usually posts on, there have been some that have joined only to see their sexual fetish in print and commented on. The emotional trauma of feeling trans gendered or desires to dress feminine are serious issues that deserve support and understanding. I do not understand much of those feelings, even less of a clothing fetish. I can offer opinions and advice only from the perspective of a supportive spouse. However, I will not be an unwilling participant in a clothing fetish conversation.

Debbie has posted on one subject only, this bra from a co-worker. The buzz or thrill of wearing it is less the issue than this relationship. On forums such as this one, relationships with spouses and family are common topics. I like to refer to everyone here as the female persona they portray. It is part of the fun! But seriously, how many guys would be comfortable knowing their wife was sharing not only pictures, but the actual bra, to give pleasure to another man. A married man. In this respect both Debbie and this co-worker are being unfaithful to their spouses.

After several of these posts on the one subject, I would hope that they would soon end. The issue from my view is not the thrill of a bra, it's how and why it was obtained. There may be exceptions, but I doubt that anyone here would be comfortable knowing their spouse/partner/gf/bf/Mom/Dad/brother/sister was sharing intimate garments and photos to a married man for sexual pleasure.

Eileen

Ralitsa wrote:I would say that there are quite a number of questions to be dealt with here. And I also say that this is the place to deal with them.

Well, I would say so. The trouble is a person needs to feel they can open up and talk - and, if I dare say so, feel held. I'm not sure I would feel like that if I was in Debbie's position - because of the intense nature of the negative responses.