In the beginning there was Bryan...
Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 5:08 pm
Hi! I thought I would post my story, or should I say continuing saga?
Like many, I remember when I was quite young I tried on my sisters dresses. She was a couple years older than me and boys don't really hit that growth spurt until they are in their teens anyway. I was probably 5 or 6 at the time. I would go downstairs and it got quite a laugh.
When I was about 11 years old, my cousin had a birthday party. Only girls were invited. My older cousin said that her brother and me could attend the party if we dressed as girls... we did. It was an awkward experience but hey... there was birthday cake at stake. (Now really, tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing given the opportunity.) I remember I even got to wear fishnets!
Later, when I was probably 12-13, I went out dressed as a girl for Halloween. I had a bad wig, my sisters bra stuffed with tissue, and her dress. I can't really remember a lot about the experience. I did get a couple of favorable comments.
That was the end of dressing for many years...
When I was 17 or 18, I was laying on my side in the living room. I remember my father commenting that I had a good figure for a boy. I do have pretty good hips and I have had positive comments about my bum.
I went to see Rocky Horror Picture Show and I remember the song at the end... "Whatever happened to Faye Wraye? That delicate satin draped frame... As it clung to her thigh, I started to cry, because I wanted to be dressed just the same." I could really identify with that song...
Hmmm... after that I got religious so I had to bury any thoughts about dressing... that was followed by the military so I really had to bury those feelings... Then I got married...
Once when I was in the military I did purchase and wear a girdle. That was an interesting experience but it didn't last long.
It wasn't until about 1995 when I was in Mississippi that I was able to start testing the waters... I would go to K-Mart or Wal-Mart to try on the girdles and All-in-ones. I was really concerned about my continuing tendency to put on weight and I was looking for some way to control it. I remember how delightful it was to sneak into the ladies area and smuggle a few pieces of women's lingerie to the mens dressing room and try them on. It's quite amusing as you wriggle into and out of a piece of shapewear in a room right next to a guy trying on a pair of jeans or something ordinary like that.
In 1998 I was back in Mississippi and I went to see a drag show with a female friend. I was amazed at how beautiful some of the ladies were... and I'm talking about the crossdressed ladies. By comparison, it was obvious they took a lot more pride in their appearance than their genetic counterparts... at least that night they did.
So, finally in 2001 I freed myself, (temporarily,) from my marriage and started exploring life. It has lead me in many directions. I started by purchasing bras and panties from the Thrift stores in the area. I had no idea what size I would be or what size I wanted to be. Rather than invest a lot of money in new lingerie, I chose used. I remember confiding in a female friend my interest in crossdressing. She was very supportive and I had her help me figure out what looked reasonable in terms of bra size... Of course, by then I had visited the local store that caters to crossdressers and they suggested something I thought was unimaginable! I'm still trying to decide where on this scale I want to be but I think they were probably close to the target... And I suppose it has a lot to do with whether I want to pass during the daytime or go out only in the evenings or dress at home. (More on that later under a different post.)
I purchased some makeup but in retrospect I chose colors that were very poorly suited for me... I looked like some goth queen with a pale face and dark eye shadow and brows... something like Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror but not as well done.
After a year of being apart I moved back home. Not really because I wanted to, (I was enjoying my new life too much for that,) my wife's job was unstable and I couldn't afford to support myself and her too. So, into storage went all of my panties and bras. I went back to being unhappy and unfulfilled.
I got involved in a community theater group and that was one of my first positive experiences with makeup... I went with my friend down to a store that carries stage makeup to pick out a foundation makeup. I was very washed out on stage on opening night and that wasn't going to happen again. Is anyone elses face darker than the little area on the back of your hand that you test foundation on? or am I a freak?
Now my wife has a job in another state. I've had the house to myself and I have been enjoying it a lot. With some assistance of my friend, I have picked out different makeup better suited to my coloring and have played with it some... At the moment I can't really get too into it because I am playing a cavalier in a play and I've been growing the pencil thin mustache and Van Dyke goatee... I will have that for a while longer... perhaps a month or so. Then I will shave it off so I can try out the makeup again. (The eye shadow is the worst for me.)
I've been exploring shapewear and trying to determine which way to go. I also have been "releasing" some weight. (I don't want to ever find it again, thank you very much. It can be free!) I'm interested in vintage girdles and corsets. I need some help accentuating my waistline. Nothing too extreme but I would like to reduce my waist at least 2-3 inches for the time being.
I'm still struggling with a persona for this female inside me. I think she has expensive, luxurious tastes. I think she wants to play in gowns and things like that. But at the same time she doesn't want to be as pure as the driven snow either...
Oh well, I'll keep you posted on the developments as they occur. I am still trying to decide on bust size... only I can decide what's best for me.
I hope you enjoyed my saga. It's been a long road to here and I'm just starting to see the horizon.
Brianna
Like many, I remember when I was quite young I tried on my sisters dresses. She was a couple years older than me and boys don't really hit that growth spurt until they are in their teens anyway. I was probably 5 or 6 at the time. I would go downstairs and it got quite a laugh.
When I was about 11 years old, my cousin had a birthday party. Only girls were invited. My older cousin said that her brother and me could attend the party if we dressed as girls... we did. It was an awkward experience but hey... there was birthday cake at stake. (Now really, tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing given the opportunity.) I remember I even got to wear fishnets!
Later, when I was probably 12-13, I went out dressed as a girl for Halloween. I had a bad wig, my sisters bra stuffed with tissue, and her dress. I can't really remember a lot about the experience. I did get a couple of favorable comments.
That was the end of dressing for many years...
When I was 17 or 18, I was laying on my side in the living room. I remember my father commenting that I had a good figure for a boy. I do have pretty good hips and I have had positive comments about my bum.
I went to see Rocky Horror Picture Show and I remember the song at the end... "Whatever happened to Faye Wraye? That delicate satin draped frame... As it clung to her thigh, I started to cry, because I wanted to be dressed just the same." I could really identify with that song...
Hmmm... after that I got religious so I had to bury any thoughts about dressing... that was followed by the military so I really had to bury those feelings... Then I got married...
Once when I was in the military I did purchase and wear a girdle. That was an interesting experience but it didn't last long.
It wasn't until about 1995 when I was in Mississippi that I was able to start testing the waters... I would go to K-Mart or Wal-Mart to try on the girdles and All-in-ones. I was really concerned about my continuing tendency to put on weight and I was looking for some way to control it. I remember how delightful it was to sneak into the ladies area and smuggle a few pieces of women's lingerie to the mens dressing room and try them on. It's quite amusing as you wriggle into and out of a piece of shapewear in a room right next to a guy trying on a pair of jeans or something ordinary like that.
In 1998 I was back in Mississippi and I went to see a drag show with a female friend. I was amazed at how beautiful some of the ladies were... and I'm talking about the crossdressed ladies. By comparison, it was obvious they took a lot more pride in their appearance than their genetic counterparts... at least that night they did.
So, finally in 2001 I freed myself, (temporarily,) from my marriage and started exploring life. It has lead me in many directions. I started by purchasing bras and panties from the Thrift stores in the area. I had no idea what size I would be or what size I wanted to be. Rather than invest a lot of money in new lingerie, I chose used. I remember confiding in a female friend my interest in crossdressing. She was very supportive and I had her help me figure out what looked reasonable in terms of bra size... Of course, by then I had visited the local store that caters to crossdressers and they suggested something I thought was unimaginable! I'm still trying to decide where on this scale I want to be but I think they were probably close to the target... And I suppose it has a lot to do with whether I want to pass during the daytime or go out only in the evenings or dress at home. (More on that later under a different post.)
I purchased some makeup but in retrospect I chose colors that were very poorly suited for me... I looked like some goth queen with a pale face and dark eye shadow and brows... something like Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror but not as well done.
After a year of being apart I moved back home. Not really because I wanted to, (I was enjoying my new life too much for that,) my wife's job was unstable and I couldn't afford to support myself and her too. So, into storage went all of my panties and bras. I went back to being unhappy and unfulfilled.
I got involved in a community theater group and that was one of my first positive experiences with makeup... I went with my friend down to a store that carries stage makeup to pick out a foundation makeup. I was very washed out on stage on opening night and that wasn't going to happen again. Is anyone elses face darker than the little area on the back of your hand that you test foundation on? or am I a freak?
Now my wife has a job in another state. I've had the house to myself and I have been enjoying it a lot. With some assistance of my friend, I have picked out different makeup better suited to my coloring and have played with it some... At the moment I can't really get too into it because I am playing a cavalier in a play and I've been growing the pencil thin mustache and Van Dyke goatee... I will have that for a while longer... perhaps a month or so. Then I will shave it off so I can try out the makeup again. (The eye shadow is the worst for me.)
I've been exploring shapewear and trying to determine which way to go. I also have been "releasing" some weight. (I don't want to ever find it again, thank you very much. It can be free!) I'm interested in vintage girdles and corsets. I need some help accentuating my waistline. Nothing too extreme but I would like to reduce my waist at least 2-3 inches for the time being.
I'm still struggling with a persona for this female inside me. I think she has expensive, luxurious tastes. I think she wants to play in gowns and things like that. But at the same time she doesn't want to be as pure as the driven snow either...
Oh well, I'll keep you posted on the developments as they occur. I am still trying to decide on bust size... only I can decide what's best for me.
I hope you enjoyed my saga. It's been a long road to here and I'm just starting to see the horizon.
Brianna
Especially when they are as good as yours was. 