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The one person left in my family who does not know

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 11:54 am
by Anne Bonny
Spent most of yesterday in a skirt, slept in a nightgown, and I am in skirt again this morning. I like being able to wear what I want which reflects who I am inside. I cannot dress this way all day because my sister will be here 4-5 pm and will be here for about a week. She would become very upset, no...she would explode! She might even turn around and go back home and not talk to me again for a long time maybe not ever if I cannot tell her Oh...I am sorry, I cannot explain it, I will not ever do it ever again. Yes I am seeing a psychiatrist and I will tell her I have a problem...etc. Thing is I do not have a problem. This is who I am. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man who happens to be more feminine and prefers being this way openly. My sister should accept me openly and fully ...yes it would be a surprise but she should be supportive and hug me and tell me that while she does not understand why I am like this but if I have held this back my whole life she is willing to accept me as I am, that this does not make any difference to her because she loves me as a new sister or whatever this means and that she is willing to help me to look my best ...that it will be and that it is going to be alright...that this does not make any difference to her because she loves me. Is that such a fantasy? why couldn't it be like that? verses the much more likely acrimonious complete and absolute rejection of this because she believes I need help and medication because I am insane. None of the mental health providers I have seen believe I am, and none of my friends who know... No, to them I am just as I am. That is how it should be but instead...I will have to change clothes..,.CLOTHES in a bit so I can go run and will have to wear men's clothes and be like a man for the rest of the week until she is gone. My sons both know...but I only show them their father because he is the one they grew up seeing and I cannot bring myself to be all of who I am when they are here. Oh well...Least for now and for a bit longer I am able to be female and

Well only one inlaw knows, and grandchildren do not either. We all confront what we are faced with and then what compromises we make to keep peace in the family, and with some friends and the neighbors...is up to us.

Re: The one person left in my family who does not know

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 1:24 pm
by Karen Ski
Anne we have all struggled with who to tell and who not to tell and what the ramifications of telling is. I admire your loyalty and love for your sister in knowing she would be upset and willing to put Anne on the shelf while she is around. Many would not.

It is sad there are those still out there who cannot accept this is just a part of us but that is how life goes. Enjoy your visit with your sister and when she leaves drag out those skirts girl!

Re: The one person left in my family who does not know

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 11:40 am
by KimberlyS
It is a shame that others can not just accept who we are. But to look at it another way is to think about it from a different point of view. It has taken you your whole life to get to this point of personal acceptance. If or when you tell others you can not expect them to instantly accept this part of who you are. If they do it is wonderful. If they do not it may take some time. Something you can do though is start the conversations now of accepting others like yourself. Talk with others about the news and acceptance of those in the news that are TG, CD, LGBT, and just all others that are different.

Have a good week Anne.