what is ur greatest conflict and how do u cope with it?

[Latanya]

starting a thread about ones personal experiences with being cd/tg. We all have issues and conflicts daily with being who we are. But is there one that is always there. one that constantly eats a way at u. for those who have that issue what is it and how do u cope with it on a daily basis?


for me it is my religion!!!! being an orthodox Jew and being tg creates a huge conflict.
this tread is learning about that conflict and how one may come to a resolution to said conflict.

for others that might not be there conflict so lets here urs and how u deal with it!

[Anna]

Hi Anya.

I suppose the greatest conflict for me is not being able to share my crossdressing with anyone (apart from everyone on this forum, that is....). Might be nice to go shopping en femme with wifey (the boss, better half, 'er indoors) occasionally. Ho hum! Not to be, I think.

Anna x

[Davita]

I'd say my biggest conflict is not being fully free; that I have family in my life that have to stay ignorant. I hate my don't ask don't tell position at w**k and can't just let my guard down. It drives me nuts to be having a conversation and then having to whisper parts of it.

So I cope; I am well practiced at it since it's been going on for years. However, it's getting harder and harder to continue to worry about who can know and who can't.

[Leeza]

Latanya wrote

for me it is my religion!!!! being an orthodox Jew and being tg creates a huge conflict.

I found a lot of answers here http://gendertree.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; and in looking through the site again I found this, and it may may help. http://gendertree.com/Transformed_Before_God.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

For me it was religion and learning to accept myself.

Leeza

[Latanya]

will look at it tomorrow and thanks leeza
but this article helped me
http://www.tikkun.org/nextgen/a-funny-t ... ish-ethics
and there is a lot more helpfull stuff i found will do if have time tomorrow

[Carol Ann]

For me it is like Davita said, " I want to be totally free" I want to be able to come and go as I please without being tar and feather by the locals. Back woods redneck hill billys

[Anthony Simon]

Well, the CDing itself has always been a source of conflict for me. It used to be major, major, major, now it's less so. This is probably because I didn't originate the idea of dressing up myself. Instead my grandmother put me in a nightgown when I wet the bed when I was 4. The likelihood is that she did it deliberately to give me a problem (she seemed to like giving people problems, one of those types) - like a conflict within myself between the part that wished I was a girl and the part that wanted desperately to be a boy and kind of go and be heroic and do all that happy stuff. And the part that wanted to be a boy was driven up the wall by having this not-boy element inside me.

I'm Jewish too, Latanya. But an atheist...Still feel Jewish though. There's a million different takes on Judaism, maybe yours can be slightly different from the standard orthodoxy.

[Latanya]

there are a lot of ways to interpret the laws and i will post them
and some very interesting takes on it.
for one and i will start with this idea
the sages 2000 yrs ago already recognized the gender was not just female or male
they had 4 categories male, female, androgynous, and tumtum which they defined as not showing any sex characteristics! so they already recognized a gender spectrum.
more to come

[LisaK]

starting a thread about ones personal experiences with being cd/tg. We all have issues and conflicts daily with being who we are. But is there one that is always there. one that constantly eats a way at u. for those who have that issue what is it and how do u cope with it on a daily basis?


for me it is my religion!!!! being an orthodox Jew and being tg creates a huge conflict.
this tread is learning about that conflict and how one may come to a resolution to said conflict.

for others that might not be there conflict so lets here urs and how u deal with it!

Gee a Jew from New York ? That is almost as bad as being Irish Catholic from Boston. hehe

[Latanya]

wise girl! plenty of both in both places

[Anthony Simon]

there are a lot of ways to interpret the laws and i will post them
and some very interesting takes on it.
for one and i will start with this idea
the sages 2000 yrs ago already recognized the gender was not just female or male
they had 4 categories male, female, androgynous, and tumtum which they defined as not showing any sex characteristics! so they already recognized a gender spectrum.
more to come

I'm not religious but, from reading....I get the impression that the Halakhah (the part of the Jewish law that is not in the bible but comes from discussions and debates around the meaning of the bible) is the key element in this. So this is where the sages you mention come in. As far as I can make out, current Orthodox opinion rules the ideas that might be construed as positive towards CDing out. But isn't the problem really whether you decide that the process of deciding which opinions become part of Jewish orthodox law is entirely divinely sanctioned or not. I mean if it's not then there can be human error and...But probably that's not an Orthodox Jewish position, but a reform one.

[DonnaT]

A lot of places, including this continent, had native folk who believed there was more than two genders, and held them in high regard. Until people came in spreading their version of religion.

[Caith]

Something I wish the Christian religions would learn from Judaism is the concept of b’tzelem elohim, that we are all born in God's image. God is both/neither male and female, and as such, transgender people are created in His/Her image.

[Davita]

Since religion is cropping up in the discussion, let me offer one of my webpages. I had done some research into churches and such that are quite willing to have us among them. I hope the links are current for you.

See http://davita-farley.webs.com/reference/support_2.html Myself, I simply don't believe in organized religion, but I am not poo pooing people's needs and so, again, I offer my page and hope it helps.

[Latanya]

I see there are a lot of knowledgeable individuals on the site in terms of this topic and I find that great.
I have a lot of info on this and will post tomorrow.


edited: Please follow etiquette, do not use all caps. -ks