New Hat & Dress From My Friend

[OliviaM]

I just posted a new picture and I am wearing a hat that was a gift from my first GG. She also got me a purple dress that looks very nice. But I will not be able to post pictures or have much Olivia time for a while I think. My wife was hospitalized all last week with a blood infection. She is home and getting around better than I expected, but is very weak and not able to be left alone. I am not going to work for at the next two weeks and maybe more. Her sleep pattern is greatly disrupted and I never know how long she will stay in bed. I can't gamble on surprises. Yes, I know what I should do and of course should have done long ago, and I hope to do it. I'll be around though and will keep Olivia going the best I can.

Olivia

[Kelly]

Hope your better half is getting better. That's the important part.

Olivia will have her time, be patient. Persevere.

Kelly.

[Sarah Beth]

I am happy to hear your wife is recovering. It sounds like a long road to recovery and you are a good person to give up your me time and help her all you can.

Hang in there and help her recover and your me time will be there soon enough.

[OliviaM]

Kelly and Sarah Beth, I thank you both for the kindness of your sentiments. I will do whatever it takes to care for the the person who is responsible for my very existence. And with my friends here, like both of you, I will be able to visit Venus and have the continued support I need. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Olivia

[DonnaT]

As always, one's wife should come first. Hope she has a speedy recovery.

There's plenty of time to work through Olivia's Issues.

[Requal Jo]

Pleased to read that your wife is recovering. I echo Donna's words.

[Hanna]

Olivia, you have my sympathy and best wishes for both of you.
Taking care of Olivia may be difficult for awhile. First two weeks won't be too bad, but after that you may start to get strong urges to let Olivia out.
I had a similar situation, the first two months my wife did leave the house except for when we went to the dr's.
I started going goofy. I'd go downstairs and just on clothes for 15 min while she was napping.
Things are getting back to normal now, for both of us.
Again, I/we wish you the best, and take good care of your bride.

[OliviaM]

Thanks Donna, Requal Jo, and Hanna. As always your kind sentiments and support are so much appreciated. Yesterday we found ourselves in the emergency room again. Her sugar dropped and as we were diving home from her first day out she passed out. This had never happened so I didn't recognize the symptoms and thought she was just tired form the outing. She is better today and seems to be getter a little stronger. She just went to bed and I had to go get milk. It was a good opportunity for a little Olivia outing, but it has been two days since last shaving and was not going out like that. but you are all correct first things first and will bite my time and go with the flow. Thank you all again.

Olivia

[Anthony Simon]

Your tone is different in these posts from anything you have written before, so I'd guess this has gone beyond anything you've experienced with your wife before. Particularly in your last post, you sound mortally concerned about your wife's health.

[Anne Bonny]

I know how hard this is because I have lived it every day for the past 7 years. You have my sympathy and hope for the best outcome possible for both of you. Anne

[OliviaM]

Thank you Anthony Simon and you are correct when I wrote that post I was really worried. But it is not just about her, I was thinking how difficult it would be if something happened to me. We are so far from all the family it would be so hard for someone to get here to help her. Having said that, over the last few days she is getting around a little better, eating better, and overall improving slightly. We'll just see how thing progress. Thanks again my friend.

[OliviaM]

Thank you Anne. I know some of what you have been going through from your posts. Knowing a little of your situation has been a real help to me and your strength is inspiring. As I told Anthony Simon, there are some hopeful signs while not being out of the woods completely. As some really smart person once said I will just "go with the flow," and see what happens. Speaking of that, last night something happened that was kind of new. Of course I have had the feeling of wanting to dress, but last night it was more than a feeling. It was all I could do to not go and get the new purple dress, heels, and make-up. I REALLY WANTED to get dressed. Maybe it was just because I haven't been dressed in a while and that strong urge subsided today, but it is still stronger than usual. I am really trying to go with the flow, but I think I have to find a way to dress some how. Thank you again for being you and your continued friendship.

Olivia

[Anne Bonny]

Sure. I know about being the single tent pole holding the tent up. I also know were anything to happen to me we would be in very real trouble. The millennial sons, one is away at school, and the other rarely lifts a finger to help unless I specifically go find him and request help, they have their own lives. My wife's mother is bent and frail with age in her 80's and she is bat manure crazy as well and is completely incapable of doing anything but feeding her daughter. If she did not live 70 miles away but here in town I would have lost it...I only have to see her a few hours every other week and that can really be too much depending on her mood.

When you are the tent pole you must take very good care of yourself. I dropped 57 pounds, exercise and run 3 miles every single day rain or shine, get my rest, vitamins, water, eat right and try to keep my mind active. I do not remember the last time I was sick, and if I were not fit then all the lifts which are becoming dead weight lifts using a gait belt and leverage about 13 transfers a day I would have hurt myself several years back.

So...use whatever resources you have to hopefully have a sitter come for a few hours if you can afford it. I also have hospice though she was probably put on service too early so who knows if she will decline enough to keep it. I am lucky to have these. But you do have to get out.

As for dressing, needn't be all day and usually isn't for me....I have found I flow to the feminine side most in the mornings and at night half the time sleep in feminine sleep wear. But I no longer have to bottle it up and suppress because I am largely free. It's not healthy to suppress who you are. usually once I have fed my wife lunch and change to run I relax after that in masculine clothes. And those clothes I wear in the morning are not especially exciting though they are women's clothing and etc...I mean for care giving and lounging around the house what would any woman normally wear? Lingerie, Make up, some Jewelry, a polo, jeans and tennis shoes and ankle socks with a belt. Try care giving in a nice dress and heels .... though sometimes I do very much enjoy feeling very feminine and pretty during long stretches between episodes of care... any lady is going to tell you, including myself that dresses, skirts, and tops with nice shoes just don't make sense for lounging around the house and taking care of someone.

But I hope you can find time to dress because that is a valid part of who you are so you have to be able to breathe and be who you are whenever you are feeling that part of who you are. Anne

[Anthony Simon]

It might be a good idea just to do a FYI message to people in your family telling them you're off work looking after your wife. Just so they get some idea that something's going on. It just feels to me kind of appropriate.

Other than that I'm not sure what you can do, unless people at your school might help out. I know, when I was ill once and needed some help to get food (I live alone), I went up the road to a woman I always thought was a decent type and she was really good about it.

[OliviaM]

Thanks Anne and Anthony Simon all of you advice and support is being acted upon. The other day as we were going in the house she missed the last step and fell. I can not get her up by myself and have called the Fire Dept. a lot. I do try everything I can think of before I do that. Well, as we were trying the last resort before I was going to make the call neighbors came to the rescue and we were able to lift her up and they are now offering any help we might need just let them know. We'll see what happens. I know I am really keeping a lid on part of my personality and I am trying to figure out how to regulate the lid without exploding.

Olivia