Christine Renee's Beginning Story

[ChristineRenee]

It started for me in the early 1960's when I was 12. I had no sisters but for some reason had a curiosity about female attire and when my stay-at-home mom would leave to go shopping or to her bridge club or whatever, I would go into my parent's bedroom and start putting on her clothes. Panties, bras, slips, girdle & nylons (this was pre-pantyhose days), high heels, etc. Even her one piece bathing suit was not safe from my "explorations"! Of course, nothing even came close to fitting me, but that didn't seem to matter to me then. It was the thrill and the feel of the clothes on my pre-pubescent body that brought me back time and time again. I was always very careful to put things back where I found it and as neatly folded or arranged as it had been, yet there was always that fear of discovery because you get paranoid that she'll realize that her clothes had been "tampered" with. By unknown alien beings? Uh...not very likely Sherlock...so the next time you take even more care to refold, straighten, and do whatever you have to do to make everything as pristeen as you originally found them.

My mother never did know and thankfully, for me, never caught me "in the act". I would have been mortified beyond all reason if she had....yet I know it wouldn't have been the end of it, but rather the beginning of an awareness that all "men" are NOT created equal, but that some of us are maybe a little, or a lot, more in touch with our feminine side. We truly are "special" people who have a gift. Yes, that's right...a gift. Unfortunately, society, in all it's rigid, gender specific uniformity, cannot accept a man displaying publicly his feminine side. But, "they" are the normal ones, in their minds, and "we" are the abnormal ones, so majority rules and we are the ones who are ostracized and forced to live a lie and keep our "little secret" to ourselves and out of the public eye. Oh...and I almost forgot this, gg's are allowed to be whoever they want to be, dress however they want to in whatever they want to, depending on how they are feeling or their mood, feminine or masculine. And THEY are the ones who continue to complain of the "double standard" of men having their cake and eating it too. Oh really? Well, not when it comes to gender identity conflict. The bottom line for society seems to have always been, women can act or be like men but men cannot, under any circumstances, act or be like women.

Change, however slow it has been and may still be, is definitely on the horizon however. That old standard "men are men and women are women" and "viva la differance" is gradually being overshadowed by the new generations of men and women who refuse to live anymore in denial and in the closet. The gender lines are blurring, ladies. The women's movement that started in the late 60's and early 70's, that was created to elevate women from the perpetual 2nd class citizenship that male-dominated society had kept them in bondage to, has turned out to not only have liberated the women of today, but also enlightened males as well. The gay community, while still not totally accepted by society, continues to make great strides forward, and the acceptance of their growing numbers can only serve to aid the transgendered and the CD's in our struggle to gain not just tolerance from society, but acceptance as well, even if not total acceptance.

Our day is fast approaching ladies because no lie can continue to live forever. And ignorance and prejudice can no longer rise up and dominate a society that continues to evolve and and reject the rigid labels and classifications that they have been perpetrated on us. We are here, we are not going away, and we will not stop until we have lighted the path to new understanding, through increased communication and education of the masses, and bring this world, finally and forever, out of the darkness of ignorance, bigotry, and prejudice, and into the bright and shining light of a new freedom and liberation for all humankind!

Well...I seem to have gone from my beginnings to the sermon on the mount here. But after 40 years "in the wilderness", it feels pretty good to finally understand who and what you are, and to not let an ignorant society make you feel inferior or sub-human anymore.

Our day WILL come ladies. Count on it...and thanks for listening.


Christine

[Rebecca]

Hi Christine,

Your post has an air of frustration to it. I believe there are GG's who fall into the category you speak of, and unfortunately, like their male counterparts their voices are often heard very easily. ( Quite literally, for me, as I live not too far from the pubs and clubs of my neighberhood and at 2am the shouts and screams whistle down the wind. )
However, as time goes by, and I show more of my gentle nature, I find more and more women interested in me as a person and are less concerned about how 'macho' I am or how good I will be in bed. (not that they'd get a chance to find out anyway)
So, I think the old phrase 'remember that we are all different' is worth bearing in mind.
The funny thing is, regarding my 2am lullaby, both men and women sound very alike. It's as though some of us as people are sharing the tender side of life and others are sharing the more raucous side.

Complicated webs we humans weave

Love
rebecca xxx

[Beauty]

Hi Christine,

Thanks for posting your beginnings story.

Like Rebecca said there seems to be some "something" with your feelings about women and CD'ing. In my experience women, as a whole, don't seem to mind us or make a big deal about CD'ing. It's the same pocket of men who complain as women.

Regardless it was an excellent Beginnings story and I'm very HAPPY you shared it with us!!!

Beauty

[Virginia]

Christine,
I applaude your passion! Yes, change is coming but I think we as crossdressers will be one of the last to be accepted. As I have said before. Generally: a heterosexual, married, parent and/or grandparent, stable, contributor to soiciety - that like to dress in women's clothing????
Hard to defend that postion - at least right now. Research is new but validates that we are not criminally insane or socio-paths. In fact we have a "gift" that is just now being recoginzed, that being the ability to transfer emotionally and/or to call up a femiine personna at or almost at will. A theory that I am proposing is that we could be the next stage in human evolution, all be it pioneers, but to be able to transgender at will does open some interesting doors for discussion. Anyway, thanks for coming on board and enjoy the view!
Deborah

[Ahzz]

I don't think any of us truly has 2 personas. Rather we suppress certain aspects of ourselves eithe rby will or subconciously when our social situation (as defined by our perception of what society says is apropriate) calls for a macho male "persona".

I believe that we just appear and/or think we have 2 personas because it's our defense mechanism towards being "outed".

Just my 2 cents. Anyone got a clove smoke? I'm out. ;-P

[CJ]

Hi all,

Great post, Christine (my, aren't you the fiery one? )! I agree with much of what you (and others, here) say; however, I can't seem to shake the feeling--and it's a feeling very much reinforced by the input of GGs such as Kay--that there is, indeed, a difference between a woman dressing in a masculine fashion and a woman trying to pass herself off as a man. It's a common objection. And I still don't know how to address it, other than to fall back on the widespread opinion that each and every one of us--man or woman--is unique.

Again, excellent post, Christine. I look forward to hearing more from you.

Love,
CJ

[Marda]

Hi Christine Renee, Girls
While I applaud your enthusiasm and what I suspect is your intent ...
I Heartily DISAGREE with your reference to the Gay & Lesbian Gender_Political movements ...
If anything, and while I have indeed overcome my own "homophobia" recently, it's my impression that they muddy and pollute the waters in which Androgynous People Swim ...
And I realize that this is a "CrossDresser's" Forum and *Not* and *Androgynous People's* Forum ... there's a very *Big* difference between the "act(s)" of CrossDressing & the "Essence of Androgyny" ...
And I reckon I better stop here right *NOW* else we get too deep into this ... and I'd prefer to remain a member here ...

But thanx for showing me what type of opposition I face in my fight for *Androgynous People's* "Rights & Freedoms"

/Marda

[Kristen]

Christene , We must be about the same age, i strated a little earilier than you but I'm 53. I was 12 in 1963. graduated from high school in 69'. Great post, brings back a lot of memories for me going thru my mom's things and worrying that she knew without saying, mine didn't appore but did accept. Is you mom still living? I also had a sister that was 4 year s older than mme, lots of things to try on. Did you ever actully fit any of your mom's clothes, did you ever stop trying on her clothes? ..........kristen