new girl

Rachel Ann · Post by **Rachel Ann** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 2:21 am

Let’s see, how to get this in to something shorter than a book . . .

I have from time to time enjoyed cross-dressing for many years but in the past usually as a kink. I am not transsexual or a candidate for any sort of permanent body modification.

I knew my inner girl as my anima long before she came out in this way. She has been suppressed (but not repressed or denied) for a number of years for practical reasons. Just recently she came roaring back in to my consciousness like a lioness and is here to stay. I am still reeling from the shock but very happy about it.

I am a man attracted only to women (well, nobody is 100% anything but I am over 95%). I do not hate my male self and am comfortable with him, too. Rick is often a protective big brother to Rachel. I didn’t realize until recently that some people would count me as transgender, but I’m ok with that. I suppose you could say that I am bigender but not bisexual.

I have never gone out, but I have never really applied myself to being able to either. Whether I might pass is not the most important thing. I do want to have a life en femme though; I yearn to have sisters and express myself as a woman. But, it can’t be exclusively. Parts of my life must stay en drab or I would lose too much. At this point in my life (age 59). compromises make more sense than they used to.

Dressing femme excites me - but usually not in a sexual way. I am still a sexual being but that is not at the forefront of my aims. The most important thing is how my girl lives in my heart, mind and soul. (I am sometimes able to be her even when dressed as a man.) She is not a plaything but an crucial part of me who will not be denied.

What do I get out of it? I get to give my masculine side a rest for a while. I LOVE the freedom to be submissive, pliant, and anxious-to-please. When I am alone, I love fantasies of being beautiful and desirable.

Well, I guess that’s enough for now, I’m looking forward to getting to know everybody. I’m starting almost from scratch so I will need all the big sisters I can find!

Love

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 2:25 am

Welcome! You'll find LOTS of friendly big sisters here!

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 2:36 am

Hi Rachel--
Nice post! It tells me a lot about you. Some of it similiar to me--CDing caught up with me again later in life, at 49. I think you'll enjoy being on this forum. Welcome.
A

Sandi · Post by **Sandi** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 4:55 am

Rachel enjoy

Eloise Goth · Post by **Eloise Goth** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 6:09 am

this place is always great for advice and understanding..hope you enjoy it!

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:10 am

Hi Rachel,

I'm totally wow'd by your first post. You are really good at stating where you are and how you feel. That was really an awesome post. Especially for a first one.

I hope you enjoy it here. There's a lot to read and research on the site. Take advantage of the search on the site if you ever have a question about topics. It's a great tool.

From your first post there were things that I completely identified with. I consider myself a transgenderist these days. That's someone who doesn't want to have SRS, but still wants to make changes to their body to look more like what their mindseye thinks they should look like.

Sorry for the babbling.

I just really wanted to say welcome to the forum!!!

Beauty

Calina_Leigh · Post by **Calina_Leigh** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 10:06 am

Welcome to the forum. As with many others I have met here, I see alot of similairities of how I feel with how you feel. When I got here I found that I am not alone and I want you to know that you are not either.

Mellissa · Post by **Mellissa** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 4:19 pm

Hi Rachal Ann a warm welcome
And i hope you'll enjoy it inhere

Mellissa

Amelie-Laveau · Post by **Amelie-Laveau** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 5:33 pm

Hello Rachel, Welcome from another nomad looking for the perfect home.

I am very much the same as you Rachel. I dress because it is a part of who I am, not for the sexual thrill. Unlike you though, I would like to become a woman.

Anyway,,,, Welcome

Love Amelie

Kristen · Post by **Kristen** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 1:23 pm

Rachel, it's so nice to have another senior here. I was beginning to think I was the oldest here, but you win!!!! I girl just doesnt't say, but i remember when Nixon and Kennedy had their debates. gosh that's long time ago. I am getting not younger anymore. I also remember dial telephones, phone booths, grocery stores that delivered for no charge, and would put the milk and meat away if you were not home. No Sophie we did not lock our houses back then. You could charge your groceries???? ( at the store no credit cards) I also remember my hair, yes, I had hair, on my head. Yeah right!

glad to see you here.!!!! I'll shut up now!Welcome,welcome,welcome..........kristen

Rachel Ann · Post by **Rachel Ann** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 1:31 pm

Hi Kristen

Nice to hear from someone else who remembers those days. Of course that was also when crossdressing was still a crime! Happy days, indeed!

Love

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 2:47 pm

Hi Rachel!

Welcome to the forum!!

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 3:51 pm

Hiya Rachel!!!

Rachel is one of my fav femme names, love it sooo much!

Hope you enjoy yourself here

*hugs*

Sophie xx

Love (SO) · Post by **Love (SO)** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 6:30 pm

Hi Rachel Ann,

Welcome to the forum

Glad you have joined in with us

Enjoy!!

Dixie Darling · Post by **Dixie Darling** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:16 pm

Hi Rachael Ann and welcome to the forum! You'll find a lot of friendly and helpful folks here and some good down to earth information too!

Dixie Darling -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd