We are keeping together with my companion some kind of diary of our relationship at home on our computer. I started it first and and after a while he started to write too. The idea of the diary is that that if we have problems, things etc. we can’t talk about right away we write about it. After that other companion can read it and answer to it by writing or then she or he can start a talk. My boyfriend likes it too and it works fine. If we just bottle up our problems or angry feelings and don’t talk they get bigger and bigger than they really are. That causes often distorted pictures for example of your own companion. And, that wasn’t good for us. We- women and men - have our certain differencies, but maybe we are beginning to learn (after hard practising
) that we can’t ever be completely (100 %) sure how my partner thinks unless I ask about it. Keeping diary is to us a softer way to start conversation. It gives you time to think and you are also almost forced to think what you are really writing. Sometimes I myself noticed already at the same time how the problem or angry feelings get smaller and smaller. In this way we have avoided many big misunderstandings. This also gives a good possibility to get to know better yourself and your companion. It demands honesty from both of partners so that it works. Well, this is our way but I can warmly recommend it to everyone. For example if you feel that your problem is sometimes too intimate to write to this forum. Both partners don’t afford to dishonesty anymore in this stage when they want to continue their relationship. Talking about this kind of things may bring you both closer to each other. If you haven’t used to talk a lot before or showed your feelings it may feel difficult at first, but it’s worth trying. When my boyfriend wanted to talk about crossdressing with me it was also very attentive if he beforehand asked me if I would be able to have a talk. I didn’t have strength enough to discuss about our situation every time and at the same time as he would. And I really needed pauses to rest myself and my brains. Otherwise my brains would have been “exploded”. It’s not like that that it’s only you (CD) who need to be honest. It would be wonderful if your wife or a girlfriend (SO) could have also the courage to tell straight and openly about her own feelings and thoughts. I truly hope they are able to do that. I know that it’s not always easy to receive what your partner says about her own feelings because it may be sometimes not so comfortable. But, it’s the only way you can go on. She may have some limits and hopes considering your crossdressing.
If you are helping your companion at home it may have a really big meaning. Things considering crossdressing were at least to me mentally very exhausted at the same time when I was at work, did some household chores at home and tried to come to grips with my boyfriend’s crossdressing. I myself felt many times in the evening that I had no strength left at all. It can really be quite hard to many women. I felt great when my partner helped me.(And he also still does.) It was easier to me to handle our relationship when it seemed that he was trying to lighten my own mental and physical burden. That still helps me to feel better
. So, next time when you are going to do dishes, tidy up or whatever it can mean a lot to your wife... First of all in this kind of situation it may have some positive influences on her.Katie H (SO)
