Casting The First Stone...

Jean · Post by **Jean** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 8:12 pm

This post is, once again, directed to SOs. I have my helmet and flack jacket on, so, fire when when ready!

Christ admonished us, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Good advice... Very difficult, someimes, to refrain.

It is especially easy for those who are without quirks, to condemn those who have them. We CDs have a major quirk, and we know it! As a matter of fact, we know it big time. As a result, we are usually quick to accept blame, and ascribe righteousness to those who attack us.

Sometimes, however, those who attack us are not as rightious as they sound.

I admonish those SOs that are quick to stone their respective partners with righteous indignation, to first be sure that you have not deceived, as well. If it turnes out that you have not, and are as pure as the driven snow, then stone away at the deceiving lout.

Terri(SO) · Post by **Terri(SO)** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 9:17 pm

Perhaps, considering the tone of this post, it should be moved to Mordor.
Jean says...
"I admonish those SOs that are quick to stone their respective partners with righteous indignation, to first be sure that you have not deceived, as well. If it turnes out that you have not, and are as pure as the driven snow, then stone away at the deceiving lout."

Wow Jean, In your PM you said you don't feel as much anger as the SOs who responded to you in your other thread seem to feel. I'm wondering where this heat is coming from if not from anger.

Honey(SO) · Post by **Honey(SO)** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 9:47 pm

We all know none of us are perfect, I know I am not.

Jean is there a point to your post or is it pick on SO week?

Just so you know I don't have a speck of anger toward my husband over this. A good solid marriage is a good basis for acceptance and growth.

I look forward to a nice positive post directed at SO's very soon......

Honey

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:30 pm

Hi CD'rs.

Jean has asked that only SOs respond to this thread. I've created a thread for CD'rs to respond here.

http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... php?t=3878

Any posts by CD'rs will be PM'd to them if they are posted in this thread and they can place them in the thread provided in the link above.

Thanks!!!

Beauty

Curly(SO) · Post by **Curly(SO)** » Thu Feb 10, 2005 3:34 am

Righteous indignation, anger and betrayal were never things I felt when told by my husband about his CDing, just a desire to learn and accept.

Any woman who does have a hard time getting her head round her partner's CDing really does not deserve to be admonished. don't you think support be more appropriate? You may even get some back, if you respond to an SO's anger or indignation with support and respect for her feelings, rather than turning it into a battle by going on the defensive.

I have had issues about my husband's CDing from time to time, but we have dealt with these with love and respect for each other, there has been no casting of stones or attacking..

As Sally rightly says, building bridges is the aim here, not burning them.

Curly(SO)

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:20 am

I'll answer this question with a couple of questions of my own.

Why is it that an SO is not entitled to whatever feelings come as a result of CDing? (sometimes it is anger or betrayal)

Why does that automatically mean that we are not aware of our own defects or faults and appear to be some kind of judgement?

Just wondering...

Kay(SO)

Jassmine(SO) · Post by **Jassmine(SO)** » Thu Feb 10, 2005 3:33 pm

Howdy Y'all

Ah, everyone is entitled to their feelings. But there comes a time when one must figure out what are causing those feelings, in order to resolve them and let them go. Anger, resentment, and betrayal, when hung onto do damage to one's self, those they love and those who love them.

Is this an easy process....HECK NO! Been there done it, and I continue to do so. I take a good look at myself on a regular basis, to see what is going on with me. Why did I feel anger at what someone did to me? Why did I feel hurt? By learning the "whys" I can then resolve the problem, and let it go. Now the easy answer to why did I feel anger is that person did something to make me angry. Next question...Why did he/she do that? Was it because of something I might have done, or is that person just being who they are? As you can see the questions can become many and varied.

I posted this under Links Of Interest, but for those who don't visit that section, I will repost it here:

http://www.trans4mind.com/transformatio ... rm2.16.htm

Lots of excellent information here, for everyone

*Hugs & Love*