New SO...where to begin?

Gardenia_SO · Post by **Gardenia_SO** » Mon May 16, 2005 9:05 am

Hi everyone:

I'm relatively new to the CD world (and brand-new to this board)... my fiance told me about 2 months ago that he is a CD. I love him and want nothing more than to support him, but honestly, it's very difficult at times. It's sort of a roller-coaster--one day, I'm ok with it, but the next day it's hard to see him in a skirt. I'm determined to not let this destroy our relationship--he's the most wonderful person I've ever met.

For those of you in relationships, how long did it take for you or your SO to accept your partner's CD activities and were there any things that made it easier for you to handle?

Thank you so much... it makes me feel a lot better knowing that I'm not alone.

Gardenia

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Mon May 16, 2005 9:24 am

Hi Gardenia,

Welcome here.

There is a section for SOs here that is private from the rest of the forum. Beauty or Sharon(SO) have the keys to that area. One of them will need to give you access to it.

You might consider sending one of them a request for access. If they do not respond to you in this thread,

I admire your commitment to your mate and to yourself in this situation, and I am sure others will be along shortly with advise.

Love Darlene.

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Mon May 16, 2005 9:26 am

Hi Gardeni_SO,
First let me

you to a wonderfull place, thats a tuff question to anwser as some wifes never do and others do with an open heart.
In my case I have been married 42 years before she found out and to tell the truth she was very upset. Well a long story short after two weeks she came to me after not speaking to me at all in that time and said " your still the same man I married no matter what cloths your wearing. CDer don't change on the inside only on the outside in the cloths they wear. Going to a support group where you can talk to other wifes is always a help as you can get thier inside feelings and such. Hope I helped a little,

Carol Ann

GalicianGirl(SO) · Post by **GalicianGirl(SO)** » Mon May 16, 2005 10:42 am

Hi Gardenia,
Welcome to the forum!!! Glad to have another SO join our group!!!!

I have added your name to the SO usergroup which is our private group for SO's. You should be able to read and post there without any problem.

Sharon(SO)

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon May 16, 2005 11:54 am

to the Forum Gardenia.

My wife's been working on accepting it for 29 years. She accepts/tolerates most of it but still has her limitations. She does say she wants me to be happy.

I think her knowing that I cannot change (stop CDing) has been a big factor is her acceptance. But she still questions "What's next?"

A couple of good web sites to visit are http://www.3dcom.com/couples/vkol/COUPLES.HTML

http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/menu.htm

Sinjoy(SO) · Post by **Sinjoy(SO)** » Tue May 17, 2005 10:32 am

Welcome! And I see you are able to join us in the SO section, I'll meet you there!

Sinjoy(so)

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Tue May 17, 2005 7:40 pm

Hi Gardenia,

I am in a loving relationship with my fiancee`, who has always been fully aware of my crossdressing, even before we met, as she had visited my web site.

I know about your concerns as they are very common. I am a proponent of no bounderies. I beleive the idea of accepting your crossdresser as he is, is really the only way to go, in the end.

I would like to say that I dress 24/7. I am always in women's clothes, and sleep in a night gown. However, when it comes to my fiancee, I am "her man" and must admit I enjoy being her man. The clothes are not for a lesbian fantasy. They are because they make me feel good. The two things that make me feel the best are my fiancee` and wearing women's clothes. To me it is natural to want to experience both of them at the same time. However, when I am with my fiancee`,

I am always the man, no matter whether we are in the shower together with nothing on, or out to dinner with both of us dressed nicely in women's clothes. I still get the door for her, I still order for her, I still pay for the meal. I wear women's clothes because it is the only way I can feel like me and not be a fraud.

I know it is hard to believe, but your partners dressing is not about you. It is not about his sexuality. It is about how he feels on the inside. That's all. I agree with my sisters that you should open up to him, trust him, and tell him how you feel. If you don't, resentment will build, and eventually overwhelm you both.

Tell him just how you feel. You can still be supportive and loving while learning to cope with this new turn of events. I reccomend counseling for both of you, it can really be helpful to bounce things off of a disinterested party.

I hope this helps.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Vanessa · Post by **Vanessa** » Wed May 18, 2005 7:30 pm

Hi there,
I want to welcome you here, everyone here is so understanding. If someone has been through some tough times, someone here is always ready to help. I just want to tell you that the most important thing in any relationship is Comunication. My betterhalf and I have always kept an avenue open to comunicate no mater what we are upset about.It was a promise we both made when we took our VOWS. So enjoy yourself here and enjoy your partners CDing, you have a whole new world to discover and its nothing less that wonderful.

Friends,

Van