As an introduction, I am a married crossdresser with a very supportive wife and someone who knows only too well how lucky that makes me. Although we’ve been married a number of years, it’s only been since 2000 that I finally came out to her. In my case, she had suspected for some time but felt it was up to me to tell her. When I finally did, I was amazed at how supportive she became once we were done with the usual questions of was I gay and did I want a sex change. Negative on both counts! Anyway, after that and several weeks of ongoing discussion (and reassurance), she has been supportive ever since, even to the point of regularly participating in our local TG social/support group, which I joined shortly thereafter. The successful integration of my TG life into our relationship has only been possible with a lot of love, understanding, respect for her needs, ongoing communication and not being selfish with my own needs. Without those crucial components, I know we wouldn’t have come as far as we have, both as a couple and in my own personal TG journey. For that, I remain ever thankful to her.
Crossdresser, transvestite or transsexual? While I understand that society needs to be able to pigeon hole us into one group or another for whatever reason, I have never been a big supporter of labels for the simple reason that one size never seems to fit all. Although we share many commonalities, the deep personal feelings each of us have as a member of the transgendered community at large are far too diverse for that. When I first started out many years ago, transvestite was the ‘nom du jour’ and having always hated the connotations of that word, I was only to happy to latch onto the term crossdresser when it came along as that was where I saw my little ‘pigeon hole’ so to speak.
Over the last few years though, I feel more at home just being a transgendered person because how I feel now goes way beyond the pretty clothes we all like to wear. It is something I feel is an integral part of my being and expressing my true self now is the only thing that makes any sense to me and is the fulfillment of something that I kept hidden for so much of my life. From those early days staring at the dark confines of my closeted existence to being out in the bright sunlight of where I am today, it’s been a long, but worthwhile journey and one that I’m only to happy to share with anyone whose interested if it can help someone else on their own journey.
Taking me from the quiet desperation of the closet, to those first scary baby steps outside for late night neighbourhood walks, to wanting to be seen dressed by people just passing by my house, to those daylight drives, which I did for about a year until I moved neighbourhoods. Then, after getting married, my dressing up was pretty much confined to my home alone time up until that eventful day five short years ago.
About a year before coming out to my wife, I had decided to learn more about my peculiar fondness for all things femme and sought out forums and discussion groups just like this one to talk with likeminded people in the hope of seeking reassurance that I wasn’t alone. That said, my initial online contacts were actually with genetic females as I was far from comfortable conversing with other CD’s. I found I could identify more with other females, simply because I have always been most at ease in the company of women. Hanging out with the guys and playing macho just never was my thing.
Eventually, the anonymity of the internet helped me get more comfortable meeting and chatting to other TG folks and I gradually began to make some great friends and also met many interesting and wonderful people along the way. This was truly an important step for me in achieving acceptance of myself and it helped me immensely to make me the proud person I am today. Losing that burden of shame was a liberating experience like no other.
Since then I have sought to become more active in our community and particularly in our support club because knowing how isolated I felt all those years ago, I know how much I valued having someone to talk to who had been there before me and was able to guide me through what is often an emotional minefield for so many of us. Being able to give something back is something all of us should cherish. Whether it’s simple words of comfort, advice on makeup or exchanging stories of our shopping experiences, I think all of us have something to give and helping others along the way is all that matters. If we can have fun doing it too, then so much the better. Let’s face it; doing what we do, we all need a good sense of humour! Along the way, the support my wife has given me has helped me develop a greater respect and appreciation of what it means to be the wife or partner of a CD/TG person. Never losing sight of the fact that for many SO's, it's never an easy task and finding ways to promote good honest communication and understanding in any relationship continues to remain something of great importance to me.
So who is Stephaniegirl? Well, that is the name I have used since I first came online about six years ago now and I’ve become very attached to it and it’s been with me ever since. My mother (who also knows) told me Stephanie would have been my name had I been born a girl. As for the ‘girl’ part, that just made perfect sense to me. Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to use it on this forum
for reasons I still don’t understand, which is a shame, but my reasons for wanting to be here make that a non-issue. Looking forward to meeting you all. Stephaniegirl
to the forum. I'm sure you'll find it a good place for support and sharing ideas.You're story was very interesting.
Carol Ann
But I enjoy the feminine aspect of my personality that has evolved and has virtually taken over my day to day activities!
