Low libido in CDs?

[Sylvia H]

2 more cents

There appears to be a significant number of those here in conventional relationships with SOs of one kind or another. I do not wish to diminish that.
Maybe this has been covered here before, but I have to say that there are those (Myself included) that have more androgynous orientation.
Androgynous people have relationships too.

Very good link for those interested http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A4455263

Has there been a poll about this?

I simply think it adds another dimension to what I am experiencing, Yeah its more fuel on the fire and maybe raises more questions, but I am discovering that my personal discovery with this has helped explain a lot of things that cant be addressed in the "polar" sexuality context. It may apply to some of us here. You be the judge. Sylvia H

[CJ]

Hi all,

Interesting article, Sylvia.

I'd heard of "Aces" before but had never really thought of them in relation to libido. To me, it was simply another sexual option (or rather, non-sexual option).

Thanks for the link.

Love,
CJ

[Virginia]

WOW! CJ! WOW!
Virginia

[Anita]

Thanks for the link, Sylvia. I really didn't know anything about asexuality, but much of it makes sense to me. I see the same potential for misunderstanding that crossdressing has about it--from an outsider's point of view, there are things about both CDing and asexuality that don't make "sense," if you have never experienced them.

And since they don't seem to make sense, then people go for what they think is a more reasonable explanation. "Oh, you're just confused. What you really feel is..." and then they fill in the blank with something that is more conventional and easy to understand.

For many reasons, I had to "retire" from any kind of ongoing sexual relationship when I reached about 47. I had never expected this to happen to me, and I was very shocked to see how much I and everyone else took being coupled for granted.

To suddenly be outside of this whole system, and know that I wasn't going back, was very hard to deal with at first. So I have some appreciation for the part of the article that mentions how coupled sexuality is woven right into the fabric of our societies.

To bring it back to CJ's original query--I can't speak to whether CDers are born with a lower libido. I can see that if a CDer begins bringing out more feminine qualities, they may not look to partners as much for getting these needs met.

Many good posts on this thread!

[Virginia]

Well we continue to add to my theory that we may well be the next phase in human evolution. Some scientist in Australia is predicting that the male "x" chromosome will cease to exist in about 25,000 years. We have to step way back and look at this - actually over generations - not just from our own personal experience or what has happened in the past, oh, what 40 -50 years!? Humans as a species are evolving, that is what "life" does "it finds a way!" Are we as a species getting better, compared to what?? Smarter well we can send a rocket into space, around Pluto, come back and hit a comet the size of a beach ball head on, then bring the rocket back to earth with the data. I'd say that's pretty smart. On a relationship scale (humaniterian wise) I'd say we were heading back to the stone age however. Libido?? my only feelings toward this are that as males age it is a proven fact that their testostrone diminishes but does it diminish enough for that person to be affected by either an increase or stabilization of estrogen and if that is true how does that increased "influence" of estrogen affect us as we age???? What is the average age of someone who "discovers" that they have "the gift," and actually act on it? 5 -12 -17- 25- 35??? Is the response and recognition at the earlier years the same response and reaction at 50+??
Girls, I have lots of questions, I just don't have the answers. I have my own response and you all know what that is!! I LOVE IT! and I am throughly enjoying my "Magical Mystery Tour!"
Love you,
Virginia

PS: Will "science ever figure "us" out? Is our "gift" even worth scientific endeavors/investigations?

[Sylvia H]

This thread has become rather interesting.
There seems to be at least 2 definitions of libido out there. One is Freudian which defines it as a fundamental life force that applies to a lot of behavior. The most common one limits it to the sexual context.
All I can say is since the latter has diminished, when I let out Sylvia the former becomes quite active. Exhilaration is almost an understatement.

Will science ever figure us out? (insert diabolical laugh here)

Im interested in hearing more. Thanks everyone!!

Sylvia H

[NancyDrew(SO)]

I can honestly say that neither John or Janet appears to have any problems with their libido...even though they are in their mid-sixties. True, we do not live together. So seeing each other and being intimate are not everyday occurances but special experiences.
Sometimes we just meet for lunch or go to the movies (even though we often make out like teenagers there). But I do not see those dates as a lack of sexual interest. To me, it is more an expression of the fact that we truly like each other and enjoy each other's company and that our relationship is not "just about sex".
I have noticed that our sex is even better after Janet has been part of our date. That may be because of the fact that the clothing is an additional stimulant, or because my acceptance of her makes John and I truly intimate on many levels and our passion is a demonstration of that.
As for myself, the older I've gotten the more my sex drive has increased. Gone are the days when I was willing to "fake it" or not ask for what I wanted and needed. Carpe Diem...it's now or never. I am much more willing to experiment now and get as much pleasure as I possibly can.
Joan...aka...NancyDrew

[Jabbela]

Really interesting thread...
First of all, I had times with low and high libido. In my opinion, this was mostly caused by the "quality" of the relationship.

With my wife my libido decreased over time, as the relationship became more or less "reasonable", but was not really driven by desire and romance at the end. Before we separated, there were months between sexual activities we shared. I guess I was in some kind of depression and my first step out of it, was to accept "Jabbela" and gave "her" time to live. But CDing was not the cause for the low libido...

Now, when I met my new, lovely and very supportive SO, we started with open minded talks, so we learned to talk about everything. The more we opened our minds and hearts, the closer we got. For me it is the closest relationship i can imagine, still getting closer day by day. Each step we get closer, we reach a new step of freedom. Sounds irrational... more or less it is irrational - it is emotional. As we got closer, I also came out to her. She was accepting from the beginning and is very supportive. She knows, that i am male or female in one person, regardless which "kind" of clothing I wear.

Wow... i got somehow off-topic. I hope, you can imagine, what freedom we have, even we are so close. So... I feel much better, in case I had depressions (never consulted a specialist on that), these are gone now. To come to an end: my libido is much higher than before - I will not compare it to the average, but at least my SO is surprised about that...