I'm giddy. It almost gets a little nauseating looking in on myself from an outsiders point of view! J/K
I had my second date two days ago with a beautiful, very intelligent, fun, eclectic, vibrant young woman. We went out for lunch and it turned into 14 hours of art museum, antique shopping, dinner, a thought provoking movie and discussion, hours of dancing and making out in public like we were teenagers. We talked yesterday by phone. I told her about my crossdressing. She asked the standard questions and I answered. She was grateful I told her. She also spoke of societies judgments and how she hates that people would need to hide themselves. She seemed relieved that I am not transexual (but if I was I am sure she would still accept me, just maybe not romantically) and that I don't want to live regularly dressed enfemme. Long story short is that she was very supportive, she sent me an email again thanking me for my honesty, and we are going out again tonight for coffee.
I am SOOO glad that I have been on here long enough to fully understand the need for "baby steps." In terms of the dating timeline there sure weren't a lot of baby steps thus far! :-) But on this issue, I am quite content just to see what happens, to let her direct any further discussion and so on. If this relationship has the potential I think it might, it will all come in due time (she isn't the type to just let it be. She wants to know people wholly). I am just so proud of ME for telling her and for having the wisdom to see that she was someone worth telling and was likely to be accepting. She is a wonderful person, and this illustrates that well.
And it feels wonderful to be so honest!
I have been so afraid that I would never find and potentially fall in love with someone who i really enjoyed, was very attractive, and could embrace all of me. I don't know where this is going. Its too soon to tell, but I very much am aware of the possibilities. If not with her, then with someone out there who shares many of her qualities. It was a beautiful weekend.
Finding love: i finally know it's more than a possibility
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
-
Colette
- Miss Silver Goddess
- Posts: 43
- Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 3:49 pm
- Location: Colorado Springs, CO
-
SilverLady(SO)
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 5419
- Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: Strange Magic Hill (Virginia)
Congratulations, Colette!! I'm glad that you've - hopefully - found your Ms. Right, and it sounds like you're off to a great start! I'm sure she's going to have many more questions for you, and the best thing to do is to be totally honest with her. If you don't know the answer(s) to her questions, be sure to tell her so - she'll appreciate your honesty in the long-run. You do know that she is more than welcome to join the forum, too.
Again, congratulations - and I'm glad that you've remembered the Baby Steps, honey!!
- SL
SilverLady(SO)
- Native Motor City and Wolverine gal . . . GO BLUE!!
- Molon Labe - Saepius Exertus, Semper Fidelis - Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum
-
Proud Military Family - Navy, Army, Coast Guard, National Guard
- Native Motor City and Wolverine gal . . . GO BLUE!!
- Molon Labe - Saepius Exertus, Semper Fidelis - Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum
-
Proud Military Family - Navy, Army, Coast Guard, National Guard 
-
Kimberly Kael
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 576
- Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 6:43 pm
- Location: San Francisco Bay Area
What a wonderful feeling. I am so happy for you, and hope for nothing but the best as you explore your new relationship. As scary as it is to bare your soul to someone and wait for their reaction, it feels so wonderful when you see nothing but acceptance and genuine interest.
Feel free to nauseate us all every step of the way. I, for one, enjoy the vicarious thrill of watching a relationship blossom.
Feel free to nauseate us all every step of the way. I, for one, enjoy the vicarious thrill of watching a relationship blossom.
~ Kimberly
“To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard
“To escape criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard
-
Sally
- We Will Never Forget You - Rest in Peace
- Posts: 630
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:33 am
- Location: N.S.W. Australia
finding love...I finally know it's more than a possibility
Hi Collette,
I’m so happy for you and I sincerely hope it works out that you’ve found your soul mate because it’s a very important factor in our lives if we’re to really be happy.
Happiness and being happy in our day to day lives for the majority of people involves the most significant alternative to being alone, and that is a good marriage or a deep intimate relationship with someone who ‘makes the earth move’ for us.
John DONN, the Medieval cleric and poet of the times first coined the phrase ‘No man is an island’, and he was telling his people of those times that they were never meant to live in isolation, that they needed someone to support and love them, and those words and their meaning are as real today as they were all those many hundreds of years ago.
Some of the things which finding a loving, accepting and supporting partner brings to us which characterizes happy people are a good self esteem, and believing in ourselves which leads to being able to better get along with people.
It also includes, when we’re happy we’re more in control of our lives, and those people with little or no control over their lives usually have a low self esteem, lower morale and experience worse health.
Being happy also goes to make us more optimistic about our life and our future.
Also happy people are more extroverted and I’m not sure whether being extroverted makes us more happy people or whether it’s extroverted people are just generally more happy, but either way, extroverted people generally live a more happy out going life than introverts who are more likely to live within themselves brooding over things which really may not matter that much in the mix of it all. I also do believe happy extroverted people make more friends, get better jobs etc.
We all know that it’s so easy for many of us to have a low self esteem due to who we are and what we need to do, and because of the attitudes of much of the general community towards us we can grow to not like ourselves very much at times, and it’s here where we really need the love and support of a partner who accepts and loves in spite of who and what we are, and they’re able to help us avoid falling into a depressive state of not liking ourselves very much. To me happiness goes hand in hand with a high self esteem and having control of our lives which can be the primary key to happiness for many of us.
Even if this relationship proves not to work out for you, what it will prove to you though is that there are women out there who see beyond the surface and are prepared to accept us for who and what we are and what we do. People should never give up hope of finding that ‘special’ man or woman because they’re out there and finding that person can be the primary key to happiness and a complete change of attitude and an optimistic future. Being an unhappy loner can be the beginning of a recipe to stress and very low self esteem and the two things which I’ve seen over my life contribute to much happiness is a good marriage and religion, they are both means of bonding with people, of course they’re not the only ways of bonding with others, but they’re two of the most readily available and desireable means. I realise that some religious institutions are not eager to accept us into the fold, but times are changing.
I realise it’s early days yet in your relationship, but as I said before, happiness is part of being optimistic or was it optimism is part of being happy.LOL…. but I do sincerely hope this works out for you and you’ve found that special person who you can share your tears, laughter and joy with, and it eventually leads to an enjoyable and long happy life together for you both. Keep us informed.
Kind Regards,
Sally.
I’m so happy for you and I sincerely hope it works out that you’ve found your soul mate because it’s a very important factor in our lives if we’re to really be happy.
Happiness and being happy in our day to day lives for the majority of people involves the most significant alternative to being alone, and that is a good marriage or a deep intimate relationship with someone who ‘makes the earth move’ for us.
John DONN, the Medieval cleric and poet of the times first coined the phrase ‘No man is an island’, and he was telling his people of those times that they were never meant to live in isolation, that they needed someone to support and love them, and those words and their meaning are as real today as they were all those many hundreds of years ago.
Some of the things which finding a loving, accepting and supporting partner brings to us which characterizes happy people are a good self esteem, and believing in ourselves which leads to being able to better get along with people.
It also includes, when we’re happy we’re more in control of our lives, and those people with little or no control over their lives usually have a low self esteem, lower morale and experience worse health.
Being happy also goes to make us more optimistic about our life and our future.
Also happy people are more extroverted and I’m not sure whether being extroverted makes us more happy people or whether it’s extroverted people are just generally more happy, but either way, extroverted people generally live a more happy out going life than introverts who are more likely to live within themselves brooding over things which really may not matter that much in the mix of it all. I also do believe happy extroverted people make more friends, get better jobs etc.
We all know that it’s so easy for many of us to have a low self esteem due to who we are and what we need to do, and because of the attitudes of much of the general community towards us we can grow to not like ourselves very much at times, and it’s here where we really need the love and support of a partner who accepts and loves in spite of who and what we are, and they’re able to help us avoid falling into a depressive state of not liking ourselves very much. To me happiness goes hand in hand with a high self esteem and having control of our lives which can be the primary key to happiness for many of us.
Even if this relationship proves not to work out for you, what it will prove to you though is that there are women out there who see beyond the surface and are prepared to accept us for who and what we are and what we do. People should never give up hope of finding that ‘special’ man or woman because they’re out there and finding that person can be the primary key to happiness and a complete change of attitude and an optimistic future. Being an unhappy loner can be the beginning of a recipe to stress and very low self esteem and the two things which I’ve seen over my life contribute to much happiness is a good marriage and religion, they are both means of bonding with people, of course they’re not the only ways of bonding with others, but they’re two of the most readily available and desireable means. I realise that some religious institutions are not eager to accept us into the fold, but times are changing.
I realise it’s early days yet in your relationship, but as I said before, happiness is part of being optimistic or was it optimism is part of being happy.LOL…. but I do sincerely hope this works out for you and you’ve found that special person who you can share your tears, laughter and joy with, and it eventually leads to an enjoyable and long happy life together for you both. Keep us informed.
Kind Regards,
Sally.
Watch nature, because it’s our greatest teacher, it moves and flows and moves on again. We can never be free until we disengage, so allow life to flow as you find it. The way it is, is the way it is.
-
Colette
- Miss Silver Goddess
- Posts: 43
- Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 3:49 pm
- Location: Colorado Springs, CO
As always, its so great to have this place and all of you to share this side of me in this uniquely supported way. Thank you for all of your comments
I am a gentleman (okay, and a lady too!) and only have a few people who I will tell in confidence about what happened last night. But being fairly anonymous here, I am dying to tell you all that we didn't have coffee last night. We were both hungry after a community meeting we had been to so we went for a quick bite to eat and afterwards we went to her place, talked for hours until early in the morning (very connecting conversation. Only a little about CDing following another question). Then we ended up in bed together. It was incredible. Tender, hot, fun, connecting, sensual, trusting; everything making love should be.
I can't even believe I am sharing that here. It's quite sacred to me. But that is part of why I want to share it too, because it was so beautiful and I want someone else in this world to know.
I don't know where it is all headed and I don't need to know (I keep reminding myself of that fact). I have been very happy with my life of late just accepting where I am and not worrying about what was next.
I am even more giddy today than I was yesterday!!!!
p.s. Donna, your point is well taken about pictures. Unfortunately I still don't have a decent wig. I am nervous about the cost right now and have been putting off a trip to the wig store 'cause I am afraid that I won't be able to resist when I am in there. I am pretty impulsive about anything I want right now, and that one is at the top of the list! So, hmmmm... I guess I'm not sure what to do right now. I do want to be prepared! Thanks for always being there for me.
I am a gentleman (okay, and a lady too!) and only have a few people who I will tell in confidence about what happened last night. But being fairly anonymous here, I am dying to tell you all that we didn't have coffee last night. We were both hungry after a community meeting we had been to so we went for a quick bite to eat and afterwards we went to her place, talked for hours until early in the morning (very connecting conversation. Only a little about CDing following another question). Then we ended up in bed together. It was incredible. Tender, hot, fun, connecting, sensual, trusting; everything making love should be.
I can't even believe I am sharing that here. It's quite sacred to me. But that is part of why I want to share it too, because it was so beautiful and I want someone else in this world to know.
I don't know where it is all headed and I don't need to know (I keep reminding myself of that fact). I have been very happy with my life of late just accepting where I am and not worrying about what was next.
I am even more giddy today than I was yesterday!!!!
p.s. Donna, your point is well taken about pictures. Unfortunately I still don't have a decent wig. I am nervous about the cost right now and have been putting off a trip to the wig store 'cause I am afraid that I won't be able to resist when I am in there. I am pretty impulsive about anything I want right now, and that one is at the top of the list! So, hmmmm... I guess I'm not sure what to do right now. I do want to be prepared! Thanks for always being there for me.
Last edited by Colette on Thu Jan 20, 2011 9:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
-
DonnaT
- Miss Great Goddess
- Posts: 8222
- Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:04 am
- Location: No. Virginia
Well, if you don't have a wig, and she asks what you look like, just tell her you haven't had the opportunity to fully dress as you would like to. Because you don't have a wig. And then ask what she would think about helping you aquire one. Like going to the wig shop and getting her opinion. Something she might enjoy and be happy you asked her to be a part of.
DonnaT
-
Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Collette,
As you can see your sisters are very happy for you. Finding someone who will at least have an open mind to "us" is the proverbial, "finding a needle in a haystack!"
I will be the devil's advocate here and just reiterate, BABY STEPS! You have given the impresssion that she is open minded and accepting, but remember, she has never seen you or probably any other crossdresser and to see you dressed can be the (again) proverbial 2 by 4 between the eyes!!!! If as you say, you truly love this woman, even Baby Steps may be a bit much right now. I would take this OH SO SLOW. I would not offer to dress for her even if she begged me to. Seeing you in just a piece of female clothing may take some getting to use to. I would not even bring up crossdressing unless she does, at least for a while. Let her get to know you before she even gets any input from Collette.
We all hope this works out for you, just take your time and you both will know when the time is right to "expand" the relationship!
Love ya,
Virginia
As you can see your sisters are very happy for you. Finding someone who will at least have an open mind to "us" is the proverbial, "finding a needle in a haystack!"
I will be the devil's advocate here and just reiterate, BABY STEPS! You have given the impresssion that she is open minded and accepting, but remember, she has never seen you or probably any other crossdresser and to see you dressed can be the (again) proverbial 2 by 4 between the eyes!!!! If as you say, you truly love this woman, even Baby Steps may be a bit much right now. I would take this OH SO SLOW. I would not offer to dress for her even if she begged me to. Seeing you in just a piece of female clothing may take some getting to use to. I would not even bring up crossdressing unless she does, at least for a while. Let her get to know you before she even gets any input from Collette.
We all hope this works out for you, just take your time and you both will know when the time is right to "expand" the relationship!
Love ya,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
-
Colette
- Miss Silver Goddess
- Posts: 43
- Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 3:49 pm
- Location: Colorado Springs, CO
I gotchya there Virginia. I will approach this as impecably as possible. I will only do my best to prepare for the possibilities. Very thankfully I have other GG friends that can help me with a wig and so on.
Thanks for your concern. I can understand having read enough stories around here and elsewhere. It could be easy to mess it up. I will keep checking in as time goes on.
Thanks for your concern. I can understand having read enough stories around here and elsewhere. It could be easy to mess it up. I will keep checking in as time goes on.
-
Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3344
- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 8:30 am
-
Carla L
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 478
- Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 2:58 pm
- Location: Michigan
- Contact:
I am really happy for you. Sounds like you are progressing with the baby steps as I am. I agree with Virginia regarding the wig. I am like you, impulsive and when I brought a wig I bought elsewhere for a style, I ended up buying a good wig at the store and it cost me significantly more than I had planned on spending, so be careful!
Hope your relationship continues in a positive direction. You sound so happy!
Hope your relationship continues in a positive direction. You sound so happy!
Huggs,
Carla
Carla